by Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmithwrites@gmail.com

All hail the glorious and much maligned La-BoS-Mi-Ag-NoC!

That is, The Last-Born-Single-Middle-Aged-No-Children folk.

And what brought these words here? – forthwith, I shall tell a tale.

One that I hope even the most the most lemony-faced scoundrels will find perfectly cromulant.

The problem is society tells the La-BoS-Mi-Ag-NoC’s they are ‘old shirkers’ –

Yet we cannot help it – we all still feel ageless, in a forever Twenty to Thirty-odd ‘band’ (not ‘trapped’).

This never changes, even as the years roll by.

The First-borns all boringly copied each other & are ‘happily trapped’ by their responsibilities.

Yes Yes Yes – The First Born Married With Children, aka the Fi-Bo-MaW-Chi’s have it in for us.

They all think there is something wrong with us all.

They don’t see that just like them, we are a merely a product of our environment.

Just as much as they want to be trapped & want to define themselves by the trappings of the trap,

We La-BoS-Mi-Ag-NoC’s want to do the same via Freedom & its cousins of down-time & creativity & novelty.

The difference is they can always take the moral highground, while we cannot – for we are not allowed to.

Society is run by Firstborns & their idle Second-born lieutenants, who love all Traps & all things that Trap.

They even write brainwash-books called

‘Learning to love the Trap’..

‘Build a better Trap all in your spare time’

‘Get 20% more out of your Trap all while you sleep’

‘Escape The Trap of not being Trapped’

‘YES! – YOU Deserve All The Trappings Of The Trap’

‘Live Trap-ily Ever After’

‘I Was once un-Trapped: A Horror Story’

Etcetera Etcetera Etcetera

Still, dispite it all – let us not let them change us a jot, a little bit or indeed even by a big big little bit –

For they cannot truly rationally complain.

For just like them, we are just doing what we were born & raised to do –

Avoid overrated the materialistic straightjacketed falsities so as to become ‘as free as birds’ –

At least in out minds eyes, from time to time, as the Fi-Bo-MaW-Chi’s horrid little machine will blue-moon-allow.

And besides, let those myopic drawn-faced Firstborn tsk tsk’ers gossip & nod dissapprovingly –

For one day when they need creativity – that’s when they’ll run cap in hand to us –

And we will say –

“Well well well – look who suddenly respects my worth, but it’s too late too late sucker – you’re on your own”

Yes Sir-ee – Our final revenge will be sweet.

For it was written long long ago it a time now long forgotten, and probably on some granite tablet,

That the La-BoS-Mi-Ag-NoC’s will inherit the Earth,

While the Fi-Bo-MaW-Chi’s will be castigated to suck on their over-regulated, transmogrified & long-past-expiry-date-eggs.

Viva le La-BoS-Mi-Ag-NoC’s!

Of course that supposed Utopia for us La-BoS-Mi-Ag-NoC’s could just all end terribly like Bolshevism did –

But to steal (paraphrase) a line from San Pedro’s ‘Poet Laurette of the gutters’ to that I will say this:

“Hey it’s my story buddy…..I am the hero baby….it’s my prerogative as the writer”.

Of course, I must admit their is still that nagging voice echoing from time-to-time through-my-mind:

Don’t be a fool the Fi-Bo-MaW-Chi’s will enslave you sad La-BoS-Mi-Ag-NoC’s forever.

After all, I may be a fine La-BoS-Mi-Ag-NoC but I’m still only human.