Welcome To the Baby Wants its Bottle podcast, a creative Project by Martin Anton Smith a New Zealand Based Creative. In this episode, a short poem is read. The Poem is called, “Mrs. Whippy, I’m Breaking Up With You” . I wrote this poem in a very strange way, let me explain. I was installing a new computer, and I came across an old USB Drive, it was from 2012. on it, I had found a ridiculous sounding love letter. I read it over to myself. The letter was a equal mix of bad saccharine sweet movie lines, and self pity all mixed together. The unsent letter, was to a woman I hard cared for at the time and had been dating, and she had rightly dumped me, for being a the fool that I was! After re-reading it, I realized I was at the time 35 years old and going on 18 in emotional IQ terms (Like many males, I guess).The Letter was full of self pity, and ridiculous B Grade movie lines. However, as I sat in front of the screen, some 10 years after the words were first written, I thought to myself the following logic. Rather than deleting it entirely, I thought to myself “lets give it a fresh lease on life”. I then compiled the best few handfuls of lines out of it, carefully chosen in sequence, so they would roughly fit together. I then added just a few extra Lines, to change the context entirely. That new context would be Ice Cream. I found when I made Ice Cream the subject, rather than a ex love interest, the words took on a whole new uplifting quality. If I do say so myself, I think the resulting poem is somewhat witty, and of course, best enjoyed with an ice cream. So for those of you listening that have some, Pause this and come back again with some ice cream and press play (I’m serious – you should definitely do this, as it will really add to your experience). This Poem is an ode to the theory, that it is wise to make something fresh from the most challenging experiences in life – “When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade” (Maybe You should also now get some Lemonade, as well as Ice Cream!). Without further ado, lets read the Poem ! Its called “Mrs. Whippy, I’m Breaking Up with you”.
“Mrs. Whippy, I’m Breaking Up with you”,
Our dynamic doesn’t work,
and clearly brings the worst out in both of us.
it’s a vicious cycle, because I wanted you more,
Much more than you wanted me,
you then pull away, we have a break and I sit there for a month,
Desperately “Sugar Low”.
I know I wasn’t going to hurt you,
But if you were scared, I accept that you had no choice.
I just hope the reason you went wasn’t for revenge,
Maybe you can just switch off from all these things,
But I need Ice Cream.
Your right, your not good for me
BUT You CAN make me do the sweetest things.
Maybe you can just switch off from all these things.
I did feel such warmth inside when embracing you.
Your drip fed type of warmth made me addicted,
and I lose control and break my promises.
it’s not easy to turn around 20 years bad snacking.
I’ve been battling all those crap things all my life.
I think you can always make amends for bad behavior.
And After all, if you’ve had an early mid life crisis,
Then Life begins at age 35.
things I feel wronged for are many, but so small.
Just like “hundreds of thousands”.
Without health we have nothing and I must attend to my health.
there can be no other way to life the next 27 million minutes of my life
I must begin to live life on my own terms.
I’m Sorry For What I am about to say.
you always play the same old music.
I cant handle your icy cold exterior anymore.
I’m tired of waiting for you to arrive on time,
you add too far much weight to my poor soul,
and this has become more than I can swallow.
So it is with a heavy heart that I say,
I can no longer eat your ice cream anymore.
,,,End of Poem.
Thankyou for listening to the “Baby Wants Its Bottle Poetry Inc ” Podcast, a creative project by martin Anton Smith, a New Zealand Based Creative. Available on Spotify and many other platforms.
Anton Martin Smith Writer 