Hello there all!

Well I finally bit the bullet – I shelled out $42 (NZ) for the basic upgrade to my WordPress site. I had delayed this for too long. I think self-sabotage was at least 50% to blame. I think you really need to watch out for the always pervasive “self-sabotage syndrome”. I think as a Kiwi or an Aussie it is too easy to do this – as we are programmed with that stupid “Tall Poppy Syndrome” – the need to keep your head down at all times, never daring to stick it above the pulpit – for fear of recrimination. So at least I did something to combat ‘the syndrome’ as I will perhaps refer to it as.

I have decided to call the site antonmartinsmith.com, this is a recombination of the former site – with Anton Martin Smith I decided to go with this for my ‘writers name’, just to separate the two worlds I live. 1. aspiring writer & two 2. Day jobber slash hopefully also an entrepreneur (Why do I see an old timey teacher scolding me for daring to dream?). I imagine if this separation between ‘dreamworld’ & ‘real life’ works successfully then next week an interaction like this might happen:

“Hey you there digging that ditch there down in the mud – did I see you write poems on the internet? – Your names Mr X Y isn’t it?”

“No Sir you must be mistaken – my name is Mr Y X – I’ve never written a word in me life! I likes dirt ya see! I come from a long line of dirt diggers & I ain’t changin’ for none!”

“Oh sorry – my mistake – I’ll employ you next week again then My Y X – just as well as I can’t have a dreamer digging’ my ditches! They’ll stay clogged!”

“No worries my fine laird”

This is why writers need ‘pen names’ or as the French word – ‘non de plumes’….it pays to separate your day-to-day life with the weird world of creativity.

So I hope the 50 odd subscribers like the change, I’ve already made the site look a little better. I guess now I need to look at deleting the “bad stuff” from the “good stuff”. I must be a hoarder – for I don’t like the idea of doing that. I’m afraid to let go. Perhaps I could just create a “B-side section” & rename every poem “B-side 045”, “B-side 046” etc etc. I’m sure this talk is from childhood trauma.

I’m sure that’s why we are all here (on WordPress sites probably) placking away, telling all of our repressed fears & neurosis, out loud but more subtly in the subtext that lies below our words. Otherwise, we’d just be like everyone else at the 9-5 soul destruction labs called ‘office jobs’.

So anyway, I won’t hang around too much. I’ll just hope you notice that I’ve been writing at a fair clip lately. The stuff I’m most proud of lately is my science-based essay (The one about Jungian Synchronicity) and my proto-Novella called “Trafficlight Dystopia” (have a look they are there in the last twenty odd posts).

Cheers to all, have a great night & week! (perhaps I should do these letters more often).

PS I’m currently reading Journey Into the Night by Celine – it’s good so far but there are a tonne of pages..it’s a marathon. I don’t know why Novel’s ever need to be so long (seems like a child-like thing to say, but my theory is that a Novel is just a Novella with unnecessary padding).

Lets all dig the dirt of words my friends.

But let us stay healthy in the widest sense of the word too (It’s very hard, nigh on impossible to avoid that zombifying blue light these days isn’t it?).

Anton Martin Smith