It’s a weird thing in NZ. Almost no one wants to talk about the world. Perhaps I was partially spoilt in Melbourne – where there’s at least a few well read people that want to talk.
But now I’m in small town NZ even the well educated don’t seem to want to have one if those long winding conversations that are so immersive and cool.
In Melbourne the women respected a man with ideas – but over here I guess a man who has ideas and wants to share them is deemed “highly suspicious” or is confused for a woman hater. Alas it’s only fashionable for women to openly hate men these days.
We’ve definitely entered a matriarchal society these days. What can I say – I don’t think that’s any more healthy that the old overly patriarchal days. A true balance is surely best. We’ve missed the ball on that one. But I will say to the feminists that it is easy to become gender crazy so they should look in the mirror more often – as they’ve too much become what they rally against. But I digress.
So yes NZ is great for the outdoors or if you’re in the traditional kiwi relationship whereby you live in each other’s pockets. But if you are interested in book and conversation, over 30 and single then good luck to you. You will be in forced celibacy @ very lonely. This is just a reality and I won’t sugar coat it.
NZ social culture is to much one where suspicion is laced into the very air it breathes. Coupled with tribalism of “left vs right” politics and tall poppy syndrome then the odds are against you.
Perhaps I’m I’m a “doubting Thomas” but I doubt it. I think at age 48 and with what I’ve seen I’m entitled to make this observation. But after a decade if this it’s solutions I need more than understanding.
The solution is to start to have more breaks away in better social climes. But here’s another problem about that – in NZ you tend to get trapped into “gentile poverty”.
“Gentile Poverty” doesn’t bide well for zipping around domestically let alone internationally. The Aussie middleclasses have it so much better than us on that front – although I understand the middleclass jet setting’ is perhaps starting to disappear as the Australian ‘cost of living crisis’ starts to attack these types more and more.
Perhaps the “lucky country” is now the “used to be lucky country”.
Anyway I’ll wrap this blog up with just a couple more lines.
Now that I am pushing 50 I think I really understand how much your early decisions have a highly disproportionate effect on your later life. I think that’s why the moneyed have their very set ways of behaving – they have an intimate tacit understanding of what works in this world. They know ‘what not to do’ better than we do.
I think the middleclasses (not the upper middleclasses) @ the poor all raise their children telling them how to do the wrong thing as effectively as possible. The wealthy families profit from this so they try to make the bad ideas from the poorer than them continue.
Of course there’s more going on than this i know. Class analysis will only take you so far. There’s really more subtlety going on. I mean there’s subculture abound etc etc. For example I often wonder if I’m a “closet bohemian”.
For all my protestations about gentile poverty – it has been my most reliable bedfellow throughout my life. I invite it into my metaphorical bedroom walls.
I guess the old adage “you get the life you deserve” is merely playing out (???).
But there’s also another effect of people that have it too good – they never know it. Perhaps I’m just one of them. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I always look at my glass of water in the wrong way.
Pessimism can be addictive can’t it? All intellectuals tend to suffer from it – if I may be so bold to declare myself as one. Although my reading has been pretty bad recently. I am getting older – pushing fifty.
All I can do is keep getting out of bed each day, avoiding living in mega cities like Melb @ pulling some weeds…that’s what’s saves me. It’s always better to visit the hamster wheels than run in them isn’t it?
Have a great week..
Anton M Smith
