New Zealand Culture – Anton Martin Smith Writer

by Martin Anton Smith martinantonsmith@gmail.com

In Inland Otago You Have To Earn Your Dues

This Is Earnt Over Decades, Not Months Or Years

Some Wags Say This Is Overtly Suspicious Behaviour

And While There Is A Large Slice Of Truth In That

I Also See The Other Side Of The Inland Otago People

Outside Of ‘Things People’ Risk Is Harvested Liberally

Otherwise, They’d Never Journeyed & Stayed In This Pioneer-Land

Conversely They Are Very Risk Adverse In Terms Of Relationships

This People Reticence Is Simply Programming Of The Collective Mind

This Is Understandable Yesterday & Today As the Programming Is Robust

This Is Why The ‘Gold Rush Era’ Culture Is Culturally Very Much Still Alive

The ‘Wild West Ways’ Of The Gold Rush Are Roughly Still ‘The Program’

Thus, This Weariness Of Strangers – Is Simply The ‘Lay Of The Land’

It Is Simply The Line Of Least Resistance Naturally Followed

It Is Done Without Thinking Consciously, Without Thought

And This Is Why Sometimes In Inland You Will Hear The Phone Ring

You Answer And Then You Hear Silence For 3 Seconds

Then You Hear An Engaged Tone

The Mysterious Caller Never Spoke A Word

Now Let Me Tell You Of This Seemingly Strange Phenomenon:

It Was A Socially Weary Inland Otago-ean Calling You Back

Only When You Spoke To Said ‘Gold Rush Programmed Soul’ –

Who Was Somewhere In The Universal Ether On the Other Side –

You Revealed Yourself To Be Someone Quite Non-Essential

Yes Sadly, You Were Deemed ‘Superfluous To their Needs’.

Of Course, This Can Be Upsetting – As You Think To Yourself –

“Wow That Person Didn’t Even Bother To Say A Peep”

“What Did I Do Wrong?”

“Why Am I Being Rejected”

“There Must Be Something Wrong With Me“

NO!!! Do Not Be Upset – It Is Simply The Wild West Culture Reappearing

The One Where You Could Be Shot All To Easily – For Nothing Much

Other Than Looking At The Wrong Person In the Eye At The Pub

The ‘Phantom Call Of Inland’ Is Simply One Of Its Many Calling Cards

You Are Being Called By A ‘Wandering Hangover’ From the Past

It Is A Diffuse Energy Form That Exists Behind The Curtain

But Has Its Puppet Strings Controlling The Stage Performance

A Spectre That Still Inhabits The Hearts & Minds Of The Locals

But I ask You Sir & Madam -What Can We Learn of This?

It Is This, My Fine Soul (Who Is Probably New To The Area):

Yes, It Takes Many Centuries For A Culture To Change Significantly

And It Will Not Change Until It Faces a New Cultural Challenge –

One That Is Of Equal Magnitude To The One That Brought About The Now We Have

I.E. The Current “Be Very Weary Of People” Embedded Culture Status Quo

The “Be Weary” Energy Force Came & Was Moulded From:

A Tough Early Life Of Poverty In England Scotland Wales Or Ireland or Other

The Mental & Physical Hardships Of A Boat Trip From England to NZ

Where Some Shady Character Could Easily More Than Wrong You

The Hardships Of Being In A Wild Undeveloped Alien Country Sans Support

Where Poverty & Privation Were Your Always Bedfellows

This Was Amplified For Some By A Move To The Gold Rush Zones

That Today We Could Call “The Inland Otago District”

Yes Sir & Madam – Hardships Were Served Up Aplenty To You As You Waited

As You Waited To Hit The Paydirt That Might Not Come

And The Hardships Got Worse As Time Moved Past The Gold Rush Era

After That You Had World War One & The Spanish Flu

& If You Lived Long Enough

You then Saw The Great Depression & World War Two

And Maybe Even The Start Of The Cold War With the USSR

All These Bad Things Created A Cloud Of Cultural Heaviness

With An Attached Inertia That Was Quite Incomprehensibly Big

Like A Storm Cloud That Just Wouldn’t Move For Days In End

This Collective Force Projected Itself Psychically To The Inhabitants Below

So Now My Friends Now That We Understand ‘Inland Otago Weariness’

We Can Accept It For What It Is Rather Than Regale Against It

And We Need Not Take It Personally

It Is A Survival Mechanism Etched Into Every Human Created In ‘Inland’

It Will Only Reverse When An Epoch Of A Reverse Polarity Happens

This Would Be Akin To Paradise On Earth For A Century.

No Wars – No Hardship – No Violence – No Pain

So That Being Said – Let Us Be Realistic & Realpolitik

Let’s All Enjoy Being ‘Socially Rejected In Inland Otago’ (& Elsewhere)

Let Us All Rejoice In ‘Phantom Phone Hang Ups When They Emanate.

Because After All – Just Like In The ‘Good Will Hunting’ Movie

It’s Not Your Fault

Ok You Can Stop Crying Now & I Don’t Like Hugs

I Suggest You Try Some Art Therapy – Perhaps A Boat On A Stormy Sea?

Now Back to Where I left Off – Casual Social Rejection In Inland Otago

Do Not Be Afraid My Delicate Newcomer Petal

It’s Just The Living Ghosts Of The Past Welcoming You Here

They Speak (Or Don’t Speak) Through The Mouths Of Their Hosts

These Their Ancestors Who Are Still Alive Today

So Don’t Worry Your Pretty Little Head

You Can Either Run For The Hills Or Knuckle Down & Stay

And I Hope You Stay As It Is Simply A Thickish Veneer

So That Said – I Am Glad I Cleared That All Up For You Good Folks

Now Excuse Me Sirs & Madams – I Have A Phone Call to Make

But I Ask Of You – Will I Say Hello Or Just Hang Up?

Yes I Am An Inland Otago Man & Thus I Must Suffer From The Veneer

As Surely As The Man In The Coat In A Rainshower Still Gets A Little Wet

Heaven Forbid That Is Probably Quite True For Me

In Closing – It Pays To Remember This – Wherever You Are

You Always Take Last Centuries Weather With You

Whether You Live In Inland Otago, Duluth, Tupelo, Or Liverpool.

And If You Are Honest With Yourself

It Matters Not If You Are Coming Or Going

You Will Always Take Last Century’s Weather With You

And It Covers You In A Thickish Veneer

(Note: You may be interested in some “Bonus Material” relating to this Poem If So Click Here – M.S.)