“Sometimes It’s Hard To Know” (Prose)

Two older men laughing and drinking at a busy pub table

by Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmithwrites@gmail.com or martinantonsmith@gmail.com

Sometimes it’s hard to know if you are wasting your life or not.

You see it’s not so cut & dry to know.

In the “standard delusion of the masses case” you are supposed to be an office slave.

And of course everyone has to pretend they are not selling their lives just to exist.

In Slave-o-land everyone’s gotta pretend they are working on a ‘career’.

And if you don’t do that in a big city you have to accept being ‘hated on’ by the other slaves.

Yes – you can be a poor slave with a ‘shit job’ in a big city but you can’t dare smile.

The ‘career slaves’ can’t dare mix with the ‘self aware slaves’.

For anyone with a shit job with shit pay but can also laugh is someone to be deeply suspicious of.

You see the ‘career slaves’ think they are better than the ‘no career slaves’.

It really is fucked up.

That in this world slavery is sliced and diced and also has many layers like an onion.

Their are ‘upper class slaves’,

Middle class slaves,

And ‘lower class slaves’.

And each main class has it’s sub-classes.

For example an upper class slave working at a University sneers at the biz exec slave and vice versa.

There are a million other subtypes like this but I won’t bore you – if your reading this you know already.

yes pals – it’s Slave-o-land and its banal everyday ways is the standard undeclared insanity of our times.

And Bukowski summed it up well when he said this:

“Slavery never ended it was just expanded to include all the colors”.

If you are wondering what type of slave I am, I will just say this:

I’m the one who knows he’s a slave and does his best to ‘steal’ a few hours on the sly.

This mostly takes the form of laughing in it’s wrinkly bloodless disapproving mask-countenance.

You see I’m onto it all and ‘have bin’ most my life – even when I office-slummed it for a decade.

I also don’t care that the career slaves that don’t know it all hate me and my type.

You see in this soul crushing slave system your only hope is see the loophole,

Just into them, take a free snooze & shout “fuck you” to the career slaves.

Of course I want them to know they are slaves and careers are an illusion.

That’s why I wrote this piece, after all.

But the problem is that most of them don’t read.

They are too strung out and tired from the accoutrements of modern career slavery.

Which is of course all part of the social-prison-cell-system.

But a few of them do read,

So this is aimed at them.

And if you die in a ditch while reaching for a loophhole –

Is that really that bad an outcome, relatively speaking?

At least the ditch is an honest no frills place to hang out.

And the kids and the cats do it all the time without a second thought.

Of course I am probably over romanticising the ditching of modern slavery.

I have probably over counted the number of loopholes available at any one given time.

So it would be remiss to not admit that escaping the beast of modern slavery is no mean feat –

But at the very least – people should know that careers are a scam to enslave.

If you know that at least you have something to rebel against.

Of course the ills of graduating from being to a ‘slave’ to a ‘slave master’ is prose for tomorrow.

Damn I’ve written another depression piece of writing again haven’t I?

How Schopenhauer of me.

How Bukowski of me.

I wonder if those two would have got on or not?

Probably but you never know.

I wouldn’t mind a boozy night with them both.

“Tonight I Have Been Your Guest Asshologist” (Prose)

Four coworkers in formal clothing gathered around office cubicles and equipment

by Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmithwrites@gmail.com or Martinantonsmith@gmail.com

Let me talk of High School-like ultra aloofness’ in old people.

It is a strikingly weird phenomenon despite its dime-a-dozen-ness.

You remember in High School those “ultra aloof” kids?

They did this to falsely boost their image to be seen as “cool”.

Of course this works well in High School.

That’s why it is a ‘go to strategy’ of the juveniles everywhere.

However here’s the weird thing –

I have noticed that there are many old people still doing it.

They’re thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty and still using the High School ‘Ultra Aloof Strategy’.

This is just sad.

It is backward in the extreme.

You cannot get away with this with semi-well adjusted adults.

It surely can only work with the juvenile or the intellectually sub-normal adult.

You see the logic of the practitioner is this:

In high school because of the natural immaturity – you can steal respect via the ‘ultra aloof strategy’ –

conversely for an old person to get respect – you have to back it up with something you can do very well.

You can’t just f*cking try to steal it via treating people like sh*t via the use of U.A.S.

Yet so many ‘so called adults’ these days are doing this while being mediocre in everything they do.

It is like a modern disease, I think.

The practitioners of U.A.S are stuck in their low brow High School personas forever.

They’ll give you no polite human-to-human cordial respect whatsoever.

No eye contact or very little.

You’ll ask them how they are – they give a curt “fine’.

They walk with a false swagger in their gait.

Desperately engaging in the continual cover up – basically that they suck.

They were at their peak in the social hierarchy as sixteen year olds,

And they’re gonna pigheadedly refuse to look facts in the face,

And pathetically keep wielding out the U.A.S strategy till death calls them.

Meanwhile we still have to deal with these types in the workplaces & behind service counters –

And if we are particularly unwise or naive of course they may be in our very homes.

We as victims are forced to be their ‘quasi high school nerd placeholder entity’ that is the other side of the U.A.S. equation.

Assholes always need a victim – it’s like the law of gravity.

Oh isn’t it hard to live in a world of these types.

You’d think evolution would have weeded them out by now.

But then again maybe we are the weird ones ruining their eternal ‘cool group high school party’.

Perhaps it is us who try to improve ourselves, do the interesting, and are decent that are the problem.

It is we shouldn’t be trying to improve Hell while we are on Earth.

That to them is a big no-no.

This is why we are being punished.

How dare we hold them to account?

This is really how they think.

It’s an admixture of stupidity and arrogance.

So there’s really no way you can change these types.

You just gotta let them burn freely and then write of their ironically high-flying flames.

It’s always good to get thoughts of these things out of the system.

Write it all down son, write it all down – it’s great therapy after all.

Lest one day you forget the disease dubbed “U.A.S” is there in this godforsaken joint at all.

From there it’s just a short hop-skip-jump to then start acting that way yourself.

You will come down with an acute case of U.A.S.

And then ‘Hell on Earth’ has yet another win under its belt.

This is why being self-aware is so vital.

For in life there are three types of garden variety asshole –

Two ‘should not be’ & the other is ‘allowable to a degree’.

One variety is the asshole that never truly knows that they are one.

The second does but is engaged in an extensive prolonged cover up.

The third are assholes, know they are, and don’t deny it at all – they often even warn you.

Obviasly this third kind of asshole we can probably live with best.

Note: the persons I write of – suffering with U.A.S – in this prose are a subset of the second variety.

They are so much worse than the first kind – don’t you think?

Oh this matter has been such a fun journey to talk about!

I really must read up on all the literature on assholes.

And oh what it would be to have a P.H.D. in Asshology!

There I have created a great new term – Assholology.

I can’t wait to call myself “The Worlds More Foremost Assholologist” –

But then again I don’t really need to –

After all – I am already a Writer (very little known – but I still am one).

And incidentally the good ones of us writers are mostly of the ‘third variety of asshole’ –

“We know we are and we will warn you”.

So at least we will never lower ourselves to use U.A.S tactics.

Even two-bit writers at least try to throw some light on this harsh asshole-loving-world.

And surely some of us will in some distant hazy day,

Fully accept the probably unofficial title of Associate Asholologist.

Or am I – as is my prerogative – simply delving into the realms of fantasy again?

Maybe…..maybe.

To put it more plainly – perhaps I am just a guy talking shite about assholes –

Which although sounds like a match made made in heaven –

Certainly should never have been done in the first place.

I apologise – if only I had known what I would write before I wrote it,

I would have never begun.

These are always the risks of these ‘stream on consciousness writings’.

Time to quit while I’m behind.

And as I am (as I am a writer) the ‘third kind of asshole’ I must duly warn you this will happen again.

But I ask you dear reader – perhaps I’ve made some good points no?

For is it not true that those old high school jerks with U.A.S. annoy the feck out of us?

Though we must never admit that to their faces of course.

Thank you my audience for your patience in this odd literary perambulation –

I had better stop lest it indeed become a peregrination.

As my great grandpappy could have said but didn’t

“You can – metaphorically speaking – perambulate about the various assholes of the world –

but don’t dare in your exasperations let it transmogrify into a peregrination”.

Wise words?

Even if I do say so myself?

Maybe…..maybe.

“The Corp World More Than Just Sucks” (A thought).

Workers sorting books in a factory filled with gears, clocks, and conveyor belts

by Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmithwrites@gmail.com or martinantonsmith@gmail.com

I’m convinced the whole reason for these soulless corp jobs is to steal your life energy and happiness in the easiest most reliable and sustainable way.

Think about it – you can’t kill a billion people and get away with it but you can half kill a billion people via a soulless Corp job and be touted as a genius and pushed to the top of the social hierarchy. There’s no way these performative Corp email jobs in a “bully rich environment” are “real” in the way everyone thinks.

There’s a metric in Philosophy where in order to see the intentions of whoever created the system in question – you look at the output of said system and then reverse engineer the intention from it.

So in Corp world the output is bad mental health , no choice of schedule working the lion share of your life in an unnatural environment and all to produce something no one really needs if they do need it the price is gouged and gated.

So reverse engineering the intentions is Misery, Slavery & deception/Extortion. That’s what’s happening in the Corp world everyday.

And how mad is it that all the parents pretend this isn’t happening – so their children are destined to be ‘lambs to the slaughter’. It’s called being born into ‘centuries old propaganda’. And under this doctrine we all tacitly and overtly agree that live has to be ‘bad’.

What a madhouse it is we all agree to live in (or should I say lock ourselves in).

Of course we all know why you just can’t so easily ‘leave the madhouse’ – after all id you act ‘sane’ inside a madhouse, you are looked at with sideward glances by the permanent residents, be they patients or indeed the madhouse’s’ staff.

If I were to casually read Shakespeare, Kierkegaard, Dickens and Newton inside The Madhouse they’d all agree that that’s why I’m definitely in the right place.

It’s all an Orwellian spirited attack on truth and reason – after all if no one knows what the truth is you can tell them absolutely anything and they’re believe it, and more importantly be moved by it.

I can only hope that sanity prevails – although when I read that sentence back it now seem naive in the extreme……






“How The Truly Great Books Get Born?” (Prose)

Cartoon book cover reading "IS THIS GREAT LITERATURE JUST CRAP?" in outer space

by Anton martin Smith antonmartinsmithwrites@gmail.com or martinantonsmith@gmail.com

Do I have it?

I think that maybe I do.

This kind of thing is a kind of virus.

Hidden deeply in the psyche – like so many unrealized things.

It’s a bit like the common Cold Sore ailment.

A cold sore is of course a garden variety version of the ‘Herpes Virus’

And I am sorry to have to write that in a poem –

But then again I am a fan of the ‘San Pedro Poet of the Gutters’ – so I’ll allow it.

The Cold Sore hides behind the nerve in your jaw – so your immune system can’t kill it,

Unless it wants to risk killing the nerve and your food-chewing too.

So not being insane – the immune system lets it survive.

With the (literary version?) of the Anti-Success Virus lodged in your brain’s recesses,

You can’t kill it unless you are willing to ‘crack open your mind’.

This risks total psychic collapse as the ‘demons’ are let loose to run amok.

So your conscious mind refuses to mount a resistance to this A.S.V.

Instead it tells unhelpful (but not always fake) little stories to itself –

“Oh you’re not ready yet”

“Wait but your work is too unpolished”

“You need to wait another two years yet”

“That industry is too corrupt & facile for you”.

“Those people are nothing like you”

So you stay in the shadows year after year.

If you are lucky you allow a pinpoint of light,

To peek through the slit-closed curtains,

And it arcs across your writing room,

Just enough that one in a hundred million people walking past the window,

Kinda see half a poem in a scrunched up piece of paper by your desk.

In other words, your work ‘barely breaths on life support’ in some backwater of the internet.

Some might say to this ” But Perhaps this is just the ‘hero’s journey’ ” .

After all all those that ‘make it’ tell a similar story of struggle while being a ‘total unknown’.

But I’m not so sure these types are representative of the writers of ‘the real great stuff’.

I mean for every one of them the ones that are actually good and ‘don’t make it’ are multiplicitous.

The unseen ones ‘but for a miracle’ are truly the literary ‘black swans’.

They are the ones that when they tell their ‘how I made’ it story – you sit there literally gripping your seat.

So it’s clearly not all about ‘working hard and sticking at it’ as the deadly dull ‘Look how I made it’ types say.

I think those that ‘ conventionally make it’ are mostly ‘delusionally positive’ about their mediocre work.

These are the ones who when the tell of their ‘how I made it’ you feel queasy and tricked.

And that’s why even most the ‘classics’ are mostly total crap other than a few passages.

The really good stuff is they stuff from people who aren’t ‘delusionally positive’ about their work.

Aren’t willing to crack open their minds that whisper so seductively ‘you’re not ready yet’.

And we all know that these people like this are lost to society – unless a century later,

Someone finds that scrunched up poem by the desk and reads the other half,

Feels ‘delusionally positive’ about you and tells the whole world via a oversize trumpet.

Then and only then does a truly great book ever get born into this grey and badly written world.

Of course it would be remiss of me to not mention this:

It’s also totally true and frank to say that every bad writer forever hidden in some backwater –

Also always thinks of himself as an undiscovered literary genius –

That someone in a hundred years will discover and duly make him a member of the ‘literary immortal’.

Of course – I agree with you, statistically I am far more likely to be the latter type, than the genuine article.

But of course my brain wants to say it’s because ‘I am sensibly unwilling to crack my brain open’,

And then asks itself repeatedly:

“I wonder who will discover my brilliance and make me immortal in a centuries time?”

We are strange folk indeed.

No wonder we are so roundly rejected.

And left to our backwaters.

“But God I Hope We Don’t See ’em On The Other Side” (Prose)

Shadowy suited figure looming over clocks, gears, desks, and scattered papers

by Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmithwrites@gmail.com or martinantonsmith@gmail.com

It is a strange feeling.

I have always thought it’s a bit like this:

Like you are empty and your sides are sticking together.

I also think it feels like constant inflammation.

It’s also an attack on having any feelings of confidence.

So now I have learnt to not wait to be confident.

You have to just chip away at tasks like a zombie.

Try to BE the list of ‘to do’s’ – as F’d up as that sounds.

Let me explain – it’s not what you’re thinking.

I have found a hack to combat the task ‘paralysis’.

Basically you wait until boredom levels overtake the paralysis.

It is the point whereby you need to fix the boredom,

More than you need to sustain the task paralysis.

For me this strangely works.

You just have to accept yourself in that ‘waiting mode’.

Another thing is I know physical exercise helps everything related to life itself.

So I live a day-life of physical exercise in my work and at home.

And the upside is I’m now ‘handy as hell’.

Of course I’m still no good at ‘planning a good career’.

And the normies-neurotypicals bleat on about like the sheep they are.

This is because we don’t experience the flow of time like the ‘normies’ do.

We naturally live in an eternal ‘now’.

We are a very different species than them.

And so the normies happily reject us at school, and at work, and in all shared spaces.

I guess this all makes most of us poor financially.

And I’m not counting people that are seemingly ‘not poor’ because of someone else.

After all rich people often keep a poor person as a pet – usually by marriage.

Although I myself am not really poor.

I have always weirdly lived like aristocracy that is ‘temporarily short of cash’.

I walk and talk like a long term wealthy person,

I look after my health like a long term wealthy person.

I have a distinct reverence for education and knowledge.

I keep abreast of all relevant developments – History – Science -Economics – Philosophy – Literature.

I strangely have many long term wealthy ways – or ‘mores’ as they say.

And of course I seem to have a distinct love of freedom and choice like it is fresh air itself.

I have also learnt to curb to pull of be being a total snob – though I often regress.

For whoever you are we must all seek to ‘not become that which we fight against’.

Of course thinking you’re of ‘long term wealth’ is probably some kind of ‘arty disassociative dream’.

Acutely brought on by adhd/neurodiversity.

After all thinking that you are a ‘king or queen’ is common for the mad.

I hope I have not gone ‘mad’ just yet.

And of course if you are seemingly or actually poor you can’t easily whitewash madness –

Via the Smoke-screen of being ‘eccentric’ – as the wealthy do.

Of course I am grossly ignoring another question of ‘madness’ –

For the neurotypicals aka normies aka overgrown high school bullies all think we are insane.

For the saying is true – to ‘get on’ while trapped in a madhouse you must act mad yourself.

We Neurodivergents and DSM five practitioners (aka the real mad ones) call this ‘masking’.

Without ‘masking’ they all declare a socio-econo-cultural war on us.

Because we refuse to live within the confines of their pure banalities:

Climbing of social ladders,

Casual immorality,

Gross materialism,

Lack of creativity,

Backstabbing,

Boldfaced Lies.

They think we are the weird ones for not bowing down to their false idols.

This is what I have realized with these people –

It’s their planet – we are (at best) just froth on their beer, ice for their champagne.

If I’ve learnt anything as an older non-normie it is this.

You’re on your own so just do your creative thing.

Think of them like annoying ghosts in your attic.

You wouldn’t plan your life around an annoying attic ghost.

You’d just shut the attic door and forget about it.

Of course if the ghost is also a poltergeist then might have to move out.

But then the new place might have one too or the old may have followed you.

So you have to find a way to live with your ‘always there’ poltergeist.

And that’s what’s happening here on Earth to us is it not?

Some way we must always preserve our peace via our own internal methods.

Whatever the case – just like the normies, we’ll all die soon anyway.

But God I hope we don’t see ’em on the other side.

Can you imagine just how bad that would be?

“Idle thoughts Of Swimming In Swamps? – A Rally Against The Nero-Typicals!” (Prose)

Person standing among office filing cabinets beside abandoned cabinets in a field

by Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmithwrites@gmail.com or martinantonsmith@gmail.com

(0)

You could say he was the “King Of Mediocre Environments”.

Well – to be exact – he was the “King Of Muddling through Mediocre Environments”.

You see his biggest crime was not being a ‘neurotypical, Type A personality’.

He was just one of a large minority of these undeclared underclasses.

Put simply the world was not made for people like he.

For Truth and Authenticity were a threat to the ‘neurotypical anti-world’.

What was the core feature or premise of this world?

The neurotypicals based it on “The Five Core Maxims of Bad”:

Bad is Good and Good is Bad.

Those being good must be mocked, excluded, and shackled.

Those being bad must be exalted, included, and rewarded.

The currency is lies made believable – aka Twoface-ism.

The weapons of this war are of psycho-culturo-economic type.

This is the World War he and all like him had to endure.

He liked to call this War and its battlefields an alias – ‘The Swamp’

These words are a small window into his, and by extension all the other non-neurotypicals’ lives.

It is a casual walk through the battlefield of the War they wage on us daily.

But I wonder – have the Neurotypicals allocated themselves too much rope?

(Or should I say “Nero-Typicals”)

(i)

At school he excelled intellectually so of course he was hated –

Yes he did go to a state school after all.

The “Private schools” have a lot wrong – but at least they are not anti-intellectual.

So he was hated by the ones who gossiped with rapier tongues,

By the oafs who kicked pigskins around a field – and badly.

Then as the years rolled by he got an office job & was too good at his job there too.

Again they hated him for that – in true quasi-high school culture.

He was punished by being good by being the work of two jobs.

Then – of course – he had to do the brain work of his manager –

All without extra pay of course.

Yes we live in very un-enlightened times – if only it was the 1800s again.

Of course he had his unhealthy distractions –

But they are “too stock” to mention.

Yes you could say he was “The King Of Mediocre Environments”.

Although this is of course a misnomer – for he was just a twenty-first century pauper.

In that century they were good at making paupers think they weren’t paupers but had ‘lifestyles’.

All because you could have a rushed coffee and a salad in some grimy urban cafe.

(ii)

Yes – he’d spent his whole life up until then – in these shabby transmogrified environments.

Of course he was quite stoic – he rebelled and created a rolling ‘private universe’ of hobbies.

This helped him literally survive while swimming amongst the mediocrity-swamps.

This allowed him to keep sitting next to those that hated him so.

But of course they all hated each other as well – let’s not deny that fact.

If you have brains you are hated, but not having them does not preclude you from being hated.

Yes let there be no chicanery abound throughout the realm on that matter.

Anyway let us return to our man – ‘He’.

In this case at thirty-five he couldn’t take it anymore.

Or should I say his mind couldn’t take it no more.

So he quit the “official mediocre workplaces” –

The places where everyone works in big cities.

They are too heartbreakingly dull to even describe.

And anyway everyone knows what a modern grey office space 1864 – Present is like.

Damn you Bismarck for perfecting the bureaucratic state!

For nothing has changed since then –

But Durkheim’s state of ‘anomie’ (alienation from the whole) has been perfected.

(iii)

So he retired to a form of ‘unofficial mediocrity’ – well that was his aim at least.

He would go to places where he could indulge his ‘private universes’ more.

Of course madmen often state the same aims – the adage is true:

The line between the madman and the genius is a thin one – often entirely invisible in fact.

But perhaps ‘retire’ is the wrong word to use of him.

It was more that he felt he had three pressing and stark choices:

Stay & become a ‘Totalised Calcified Urban Zombie’,

Stay – & ‘Die Suddenly’,

Leave & ‘Avoid Death’s Ringing Knock Knock Knock’.

So he chose the latter option – a kind of ‘hollow victory’ you might say.

Yes you might accuse him of being a ‘beggar’ who thought he was a ‘chooser’.

This of course was how they ‘did people in’ in this age – they made beggars all think they could choose.

The age was indeed marked by a ubiquitous sleight of hand.

For it knew ’twas always best to ‘hide in plain sight’.

(iv)

Now back to our ‘he’.

Sadly there was an option that did not appear & he now could not take:

“Thrive by backing your intelligence & skills wisely – go it alone”.

You see he had swum around as a “King of Mediocrity” too long – well pauper.

That swamp that was the age of his times had by now ontologically pruned off all branches of ‘true freedom’.

The ages he lived in had learnt a lot since 1864 after all – it was no dummy by now.

All that was left for him was to enter this slow life kind of “alternate-life state”.

Sadly – like practically all the others like him in these ages – he had left his run too late.

“The Swamp” very much has its own distinct immovable ‘sociological event horizon’.

(v)

So anyway back to our man ‘he’.

Recall he (naively?) – chose to ‘live imperfectly’ and not stay to be a metropolis zombie and/or die.

It was like a half-pie-stolen Thoreau-like “Walden, Life In The Woods” situation.

The details of which are again far too stock & dull to delineate.

You see for all his talent –

He underestimated the long-term effects of swimming among the choking weeds of swampish mediocrity.

Living amongst those who casually hated him in those urban low level passive aggressive cubicle-hellscapes.

And to re-iterate – yes he was not ‘alone’ in that – not by any absolute measure at least.

He was a distinct minority in daily repetitive relative terms only.

In theory the people suffering just like him were there somewhere but always hidden.

Almost all the truly talented fall into these metropolis murderous weeds.

And their multitudinous city-brothers die just like them in other swamps ‘sight unseen’.

In fact the ones you do see (‘lauded intellectuals’) are a false version of the true ones that surely are all ‘sifted out’.

Once in a blue moon of course someone like him slips through the veil un-reproducibly.

After all – no system of desolation and repression of the ‘beautiful flowing mind’ can be totally perfect.

(vi)

I have a theory about those like this that aren’t swamp-fakes but genuinely rise up like Icarus:

It is a mixture of chance, natural confidence, & pigheaded ‘will’ –

And I am tempted to say that all three are of an a-priori nature.

And yes – I am ok with being accused of ‘thinking like Schopenhauer’.

Of course a big part of me rebels against my own theory.

After all – no one likes to admit he does not have a-priori confidence and iron will.

No one really wants to admit to being ‘unlucky’.

For no one wants to admit to being ‘trapped forever’,

No matter how thick his life’s ‘prison walls’ may be.

For once all this is truly admitted deeply and psychically –

Surely this is when a man ends it all – must end it all.

(vii)

Sometimes despite all this – our ‘he’ was able to lift his spirits above the swamp’s natural abyss.

Yes – he knew there was a songbird of true redemption soaring from mediocrity’s foul swamps.

But it was a ‘Bukowskian songbird’ – covered up by an amalgam of neurotic forces.

Yes he also knew the last man to write about seeing this songbird is now long gone.

Yes he had his idle thoughts on his life of swimming in mediocre swamps & crawling out half-alive.

Perhaps what the wags that occupied the recesses of his mind said was true.

Perhaps he was really just ‘Shoppin’ with Schopenhauer’ (again).

But that thought sounded far too glib and enjoyable for his liking.

Schopenhauer wouldn’t like it like that – he thought.

Come to think of it – neither would Bukowski either – he again thought.

And while swamp-swimming at mediocrity’s inlets it’s surely ok to have the odd ‘anti-hero’ –

If not a bloody requirement!

After all – me thinking like this might just be the only thing that was now keeping me alive.

Yes he did enjoy listening to his inner thoughts – he was indeed his own audience.

And somehow he stayed alive long enough to once write his unique ‘swamp filled’ story.

(viii)

And not long before he drew his last breath he did conjecturise,

Was I finally able to leave ‘The Swamp’ behind?

Was my redemption always going to happen?.

Well if Earth isn’t hell then it can’t be identically equal to the ‘bad side of hades’ – can it?

While one is still drawing breath on this mortal coil –

It must be possible to crawl out of even the both most viscous and vicious swamp.

What would Schopenhauer say to that?

He might disagree.

I know that oh dear Bukowski would agree.

Buk did say that life was all about how well you wade through the effluent,

And not how well you avoid it.

They are fine words indeed, I think.

And now I can finally leave ‘the swamp’ that I thought I had already long ago left.

For the great adage is true – ‘you cannot wrap your arms around a memory’.

(ix)

And so this was the tale of ‘he’ – the man who tried his best in the War against the non-neurotypicals.

No he didn’t amass a soldier-army of his glorious Neurodivergents to defeat the ghouls of the ‘Big Five Maxims’.

He was just dealing with the day-to-day officially undeclared battle-scape he’d known his whole life.

Was he distracted by the minutiae of the War’s myriad of energy sapping tricks? – maybe he was.

But perhaps he was doing what he was destined to do all along.

Perhaps he was put inside the early part of the War as a ‘Thomas Paine figure’.

For he was aware of another ‘non-bad-five’ – and now banned – maxim:

The Pen is mightier than the sword.

Sure in his case his words were to him just a ‘glorified hobby’ –

Something to get him through daily pains of War as one of millions, perhaps billions nominated –

Nominated to be the enemy of the ‘Nero-Typicals’.

But I have a deadly suspicion that Thomas Paine of circa 1776 was of much the same ilk.

You can see it in his writing, after all – can you not?.

Yes – sometimes a man’s place in the world is decided retrospectively.

And always always always by the eventual victors of said War.

So if you are reading this in one hundred years time –

Perhaps we almost certainly won the War against the Nero-Typicals.

Unless of course these words were smuggled out by a soldier –

A remnant of the almost extinct ‘non-neurotypical rebel force’,

Which continues to hide in the cracks and ruins of a ‘Forever War’ as they always have –

Just trying to survive, hoping for a better day, and wishing for the War to finally be over.

Kidding themselves that it is not already long over and irrevocably lost?

And hoping that this week’s new ‘Grand Revolutionary Plan’ will free them at last.

Whichever the case I can only hope for ‘Glorious Victory’ and that these words will survive.

And if indeed the War is lost – let us not suffer the ignominy of suing for a ‘good peace settlement’.

For while the Non-Neurotypical Soldier is prone to dreaming

– he should refrain from being delusional.

And in closing and at the risk of flogging a now grossly overused quotation –

I fear we will have to follow what Patrick Henry said to rouse his fellow rebels in 1775:

Give me victory or give me death!!!

“Regrets Of A Neo-Thatcherite: The Regrets Of A Deeply Fazed Cookie” – Part Two (A Serialized Story)

Book cover reading "The Long Shadow and the Politics of Tomorrow" by Sarah J. Reynolds

by Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmithwrites@gmail.com or martinantonsmith@gmail.com

note: see part one here: https://antonmartinsmith.com/2026/08/15/regrets-of-the-neo-thatcherite-the-story-of-a-deeply-fazed-cookie/

I must apologize for the last line. What was it? Well let me remind you it was this.

As he did every night, he would drink until he passed out on his comfortable chair and then always wake up at eleven am sharp. After all there was no one else to wake him anyway. His wife had died a decade ago and no one had suspected a thing – but of course I had my recordings didn’t I?.

You see it leads you – the reader or listener as the case may be – to think that our now retired ex UK Neo Thatcherite PM slash undeclared Dictator did away with his wife Teresa. This was not correct – she did away with herself you see. She did away with herself after forty years of marriage to our old Tipthorne because of boredom – would you believe it?.

Yes ys yes – I hear you – how can a Dictator, albeit an undeclared one, create a life of abject boredom for his wife? “Surely this cannot be” I hear you say. Well let me explain I think you will find it not so surprising at all.

You see Terrence Tipthorne basically had kept his wife hostage inside No 10 Downing street for the full twenty years of his toturous reign. She was very much a ‘prisoner of her own house’, as it were. So naturally she did become very bored and very quickly. She became so bored that eventually she did herself in ‘suddenly’ on the night before her and her husband would moving into their new ‘semi-opulent post-UK Dictator retirement lodgings’. You see after being ‘on the inside’ for two decades the shock of finally actually leaving No 10 was just too much to bear. So she in the final few moments of her incarceration had a vial of cyanide to do the lethal work. It was very much like the Nazi ‘second in command to the Fuhrer himself’ Hermann Goering had done at Nuremburg in nineteen-forty-six when about to face the hangman – she simply ‘bit down’ on the glass vial and was gone in an instant. Of course it was all hushed up.

The cover story was concocted by Tipthorne’s long standing propaganda Minister – a weak chinned club footed man by the name of Brian Brydon. When she was discovered lying in her bed in the master bedroom at No 10 – the internal doctor Simon Sninkler was ushered in whereby he saw the broken vial of cyanide on the pillow. Of course he recognised the vial as it was – just like the Nazi’s – it was a branded suicide pill with a T with two lighting bolts at each of the metal ends of the vial. Again much like the Nazis, Terrence Tipthorne had made sure that ranking insiders had them on their body at all times. The Resident No 10. Doc Sninkler simply looked at broken vial and then looked for any vital signs un Teresa. He knew this would be a total waste of time, given cyanide kills irreversibly and instantly.

Brydon being the Propaganda Minister was tasked with the plan for the body and the story to be told to the public via the fully controlled ‘TT regime’ mainstream media. Her body was simply whisked away from No. 10 in a large oversize linen basket. It was taken via the TPF – Terrence Police Force – in a commandeered linen van from the back ‘inwards goods’ area of No 10 to a state owned T.T. Regime drycleaners store. From here Teresa’s lifeless frozen body was transferred unceremoneously into the back of a seats down non descript staff mortuary vehicle and she was wrapped in a sheet. Then she was delivered under cover of the night and ‘put on ice’ in the nearby mortuary exclusively used for ranking TT Regime officials. In these buildings you could life a giant roller door and drive right in to a waiting type type area.

From that point the men who Brydon had hand picked from TT Force simply put her in one of the racks under a false name. A month later it was announced that ‘Former first lady of Terrence had died in her sleep of a ‘sudden massive heart attack’ at the ex PM’s new retirement lodgings’.

Of course on the day of the ‘official announcement of Mrs Terrence Tipthorne’s death’ the show would merely need to tie up s few loose ends. An ‘ambulance show’ would of course occur with TT Force posing as paramedics and after an hour of supposed ‘paramedic revival attempts’ a dummy would be taken out amongst the state media flashes in a guernsey to the waiting ambulance. The dummy was naturally covered with a white sheet so people would have no problem to assume it was indeed the deceased first lady Teresa. From there it was plain sailing – the ‘Teresa dummy’ was whisked away to the same mortuary that she had already been in for a week and all the normal official things that happen when someone dies could be done.

Needless to say it all went well and Brydon and his appointed crew from the TT Force were commended by Tipthorne for another ‘great propaganda victory’. Of course it goes without saying that Tipthorne showed no weariness at all for the loss of his wife – he was of course a narcissist and psychopath after all.

So that was what happened at the very end of Tipthone’s time in official power. It was almost fitting that such a rank act of deception, good organization, and rank cowardice took place as a bookend to his twenty years in power over England. Of course it was now ten years ahead of that wild ending, and it was now only for Tipthorne a fond and often called upon memory in the mind of the very horrible Terrence Tipthorne – our Unofficial Dictator, now retired.

Tipthorne was sitting alone as usual in his retirement semi-opulent lodgings. He hadn’t remarried after Teresa. He had thought this would be unwise. His logic was that at his then ‘advanced age’ of around sixty five he wouldn’t have much time left to do the tings he wanted to – which was mostly just read, drink and listen to Wagner. If he was lucky he might have fifteen years till he reached eighty and had ‘given up the ghost’. He thought that if he had a wife he figured this would in real-time shrink to perhaps only seven years in real terms.

So he stayed single with music, books and his thoughts. Sure he knew his plans to ‘make England an empire again’ had foundered on the rocks – but he had had a fun time while England had burned down and there was a brief period of success in the first five years when he had pump-primed up the economy on account of huge amounts of foreign debt.

He had always slept very well still did so at his current age of age seventy-five. This is the way of the worst people in the world – they tend to sleep soundly given that they care little or nothing of the – by the numbers – mostly normal people whose lives they usually literally destroy. Of course sometimes they will sleep poorly on account of a bad strategic decision – it would be strange if nothing made them toss and turn on occasion and more so in times of war or things like civil revolution.

And of course I know what you the reder or listener are now asking ‘what about the wasteland of the nation England? What about the violence, poverty and disarray under Tipthorne’s brutal Neo- Thatcherite regime?’ Well of course he simply did what almost all ‘evil bastard’ leaders did – he sectioned off a walled garden of prosperity for those who were T.T. Regime inner circle loyalists, family and associates – and the rest be damned.

Tipthorne’s ‘extended lot’ of both ardent and steadfastly performative loyalists never had to see any of the wasteland that was now perhaps ninety nine percent of England. In fact he even formalized this arrangement whereby he and the families and close confidants were safe in the new ‘city state’ he had created called “The City of New Wessland”. It simply had a giant perimeter wall around its 100 square kilometers and it simply bilked and ‘parasited’ off the remainder of that third world nation that was still called England but was of course by now officially a Third World country. Tipthorne had essentially copied the domestic policy of the bog standard African president. And for the members of the TT Regime it had worked and continued to work perfectly as designed.

All these past wins were what Tipthorne’s loved to recall in the twilight of hi life. He now had his top class whisky neat on the rocks drink in his hand and his record player on. He did – much like that past ‘Dictator corporal’ – had a distinct love for classical music. Though he was much more a Edward Elgar man instead of Wagnarian but it is also true that he did indeed sometimes put Wagner on the ‘T.T. Regime’ branded record player.

End of Part Two…..Part Three to come soon

“Paper Planes & Long Lost Eye-Glimmers?” (A Prose Poem + Bonus Narration in the writer’s own voice)

Paper plane carrying office worker past oblivious office

By Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmithwrites@gmail.com or martinantonsmith@gmail.com

Basic Assumption: You the reader/listener have brains.

You used to think “When I leave High School my brains will be appreciated”.

This naive delusion helped get you through the psychological torment dished out by the bullies,

And all the other horrors that happened thanks to those deeply frazzled & disinterested teachers.

Then by the time you’re a couple of years into ‘work life’ you realize ‘High School never ends’.

Of course this was to your horror – a slow kind of creeping crystalizing horror.

Yes sadly on this godforsaken planet, most people of all ages will still hate you if you have brains and good ideas.

Your already existing decades-long-friends certainly don’t want you to have brains.

In work you realise that people would rather have the whole company fail than reward your brains.

Of course a big part of you lies to yourself – you say to yourself:

Maybe if I do this project REALLY WELL it’ll change.

Of course it never does – you were deluding yourself.

The kooky management kept promoting people with dubious IQ’s to be your boss or to boss you around.

And so the years and decades roll by.

The money stays shit and the promotions never come.

You keep doing the work of seven.

You keep doing the work of your boss.

You’ve become the ‘high price external consultant’ that is totally free.

Of course you start to drink or do drugs or womanize (or ‘man-ize’) – that’s a given.

In fact it’s almost the wise choice since you do work in a literal madhouse –

For if bad decisions are routinely made over good & intentionally so –

Then don’t be a fool to think that this isn’t a form of madness.

Why wouldn’t you blow off steam on the short weekend breaks from the asylum?

You would be stupid not to lean on at least some form of escapism.

And then suddenly the ‘cubical dilated time’ says seven years has past since you had your first day,

And you take stock – you realise you have psychologically checked out forever.

It was all like a loud dripping tap into an empty but plugged bathtub in the room above your head –

The annoyance seems endurable so you don’t make plans to remedy it –

But it will assuredly fill and then overflow through the floorboards and onto your cold head.

At this point the light has long left your eyes.

You’re probably overweight.

You probably de-facto-married someone who is also a cubicle-prisoner (with wasted brains too) just like you –

After all misery does love company –

And there’s no way you could marry the empty platitude enemy (your jailer boss the ex high school bully) is there?

Or maybe you just ‘did it all alone’ to wallow ‘Schopenhauer-ingly’ in the ambiently-anguished-atmosphere.

And as a Late-Twentieth-To-Early-Twenty-First-Century-Dweller it is almost redundant to mention this but I will –

The Corporation’s Henchmen (formerly ‘The Quacks’) have certainly loaded you with deadly anti-depressants.

Yep – I’m sorry to announce this BUT….you screwed up.

There’ no getting away from the fact.

You fell for the plan.

You fell ‘hook line & stinker’ – as the wise last century’s cartoon characters did say.

Yep – you foolishly agreed to ‘Stay in High School forever’.

Of course in theory you could have left Cubicle Fluorescent Light High School –

But they told you business was to risky and by the time you realized it wasn’t –

It was too late –

By then you were past the point of no return.

You succumbed to the ‘non-event horizon’ that is your forever ‘corporatized penal life’.

Yes the World ‘got you’ as is the plan for all us ‘Neo-Dickensians’.

I mean lets take a breath – let’s not be too harsh – they do run a great devilish ‘Mephisto PR game’.

You have to be born into an ‘insider family’ to know it before it traps your soul and your eye-glimmers.

Yes – It was a shame, it is always a shame.

You (like so many with brains) were full of potential.

You could have been something great.

Now you’re closer than ever to retirement.

The last thirty years have gone forever never to return.

And through the decades under lock and key you didn’t even have a hobby either.

You could have read the worlds books.

Knitted up a storm of bright jerseys.

Learnt to be a potter.

Got into web design.

Learnt how to speak as the Spaniards, The Russians or The Japanese do.

Done some woodworking or furniture repair.

Hell – you could have made a billion wonky-quasi-flying paper planes.

But you didn’t even do that.

But being a cerebral outsider that never finally quit the bully-favoring-cubicle-rat-race wasn’t your biggest mistake.

What you needed was a persistent low level chronic dose of freedom on tap.

For all you truly needed was not a giant company of your own –

It was not a trapper’s cave in the woods far from civilization –

But it was something small that was entirely yours.

That you could build upon.

If you had jus done that – you would still have a tiny glimmer in your eye.

And it is true that a single spark can burn down an entire tree, forest or national park is it not?

If nothing else you must have a hobby – as glib and sanctimonious and as that seems.

Now excuse me – I have (my equivalent to) a paper plane to catch.

You see – I wasn’t quite as stupid as some were,

For with these words I have retained a hobby.

But with all this quasi-sermonizing I don’t think I’m being mean either.

Just think of me as a farmer of your un-paralized and formerly non-extinguished urban eye-glimmer.

My goal is to bring a tiny part of you back to (a real) life.

Surely at your age some of you is allowed to leave Urban Cubicle Dreadnaught High School?

And I don’t think that’s too much to ask – do you?

Don’t dare lose all of that fading glimmer in your wandering screen-jaded left eye.

So go get yourself a noble hobby – and remember ‘bomb making’ is just as good as any.

You didn’t think I’d end on a mature note did you?

(Ah you know me too well!)

“Regrets Of The Neo -Thatcherite – The Story Of A Deeply Fazed Cookie – Part 1” (A Serialized story)

Book cover reading "The Long Shadow and the Politics of Tomorrow" by Sarah J. Reynolds

By Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmith@gmail.com or martinantonsmith@gmail.com

NOTE: THIS WAS GREATLY UPDATED ON 22 AUG 2026 – 1500 words were added.

“That’s another fine mess I’ve got myself into”.

Said the man who was almost next to me in the train to Nowheresville. Of course he was talking to himself – something that used to be rare in the England transport system. It was well past midnight on a Friday night. Of course drunkeness on the tube in London was the norm as people left the central drinking holes of London. He didn’t know who I was at this point – this would come a lot later on, long after his retirement from UK Politics. I would know all about him from afar thanks to my hidden recording devices. For some forty years he did not know I had existed at all. I knew everything, and I was lucky that he had a habit of murmerring away to himself as he sat at home after a hard days work.

My name was Anton Schmid and when I first saw the at-the–time thirty-three-year-old Thatcher backbencher Terrence Tipthorne – and his wild performance on the tube – I was just a twenty seven year old greenhorn. I was just a lowly telecoms technician working for British Telecom. Although I had bigger brains than my job. With my big bored brains I had used BT equipment to make the best ‘bugs’ possible – not of the crawling type – of the surveillence type. I made both listening bugs and video recording bugs. Better that state of the art – my bugs were only one cm square. I would have some great entertainment snooping on Tipthorne the man who replaced Thatcher. Yes – initially I was just having fun – although now looking back I was also working on a long term plan to save the UK from the UK that Tipthorne ended up creating during his two decade long run as PM.

This would be how I got to know about the real Terrence Tipthorn and how dark his personality could become. But for now I was just watching him from a few seats down on the tube. I was watching this drunk who I did not yet know was a Thatcher backbencher. I had simply though he was just another mid eighties yuppie. I thought he was perhaps a stockbroker from Canary Wharf or perhaps one of the millions of faceless corporates in ill fitting black suits. Terrence had gotten up and was swaying wildly while holding the hand rail above his fold out seat and started slurring loudly.

“If only I had listened to my other self before I did it”. Said the man in a loud yelp above the din of the other half-cut passengers – who later I’d soon learn from a TV news report was Terrence Tipthorn. I noticed as he pretended to read the strangely creased paper he was now frantically scratching himself. It was like he had an ant under his shirt. He also had a wild look in his eyes. Yes his clothes quite Businessman-like but his dapper-ness was ruined as he had a large patch of post-London-nightlife-alcohol-binge vomit on his shirt. The smell was mostly obscured by the ubiquitous cigarette smoke that literally hung in the air in visible layers. They were different times compared to now, that is nineteen eighty five versus twenty thirty seven.

Tipthorne’s haircut was recent and sharp. He was almost handsome but not quite, on account of his weak chin, bad English teeth and slightly wonky and ovesize nose. But he certainly wasn’t ugly and for an English Politician he was relatively good looking. He helped himself by being not so far away from what is called ‘snappy dresser’. His shoes of top quality were by the well known firm ‘Balderdashes’. Baldedashes Shoes had been to footwear of choice among the upper-classes for some three hundred years. It was highly unusual if the man in Ten Downing street did not wear them. Of course his ties were rather garish, often having little planes on them or strange patterns. In short he wanted to always look the part more than he could make happen in the real world. Well he was a Tory wasn’t he?

I noticed was the Financial Times open on his lap. The headline was

“Thatcher Cuts Red Tape – Invites More Foreign Investment”

Yes to look at him you would not know he was volatile at all. Just a typical suit who was binge drinking – like most of the Western world did after work in big cities, let alone London. But when he opened his mouth – it was all beyond doubt. He loaded up the next line by taking a big audible breath.

“It all started with Thatcher – IT’S ALL HER FAULT WE RICH GUYS WERE MUCH MORE LOVED BEFORE HER!”

He screamed as he stood up off his seat. Of course no one knew he was a Tory backbencher so it didn’t mean anything controversial. Even if someone did recognize him it didn’t matter a jott – backbenchers were seen as silly children no one took them seriously. They had to rise up a number of places to be noticed by anyone.

He was told to sit down by a few passengers. He of course did not sit down. He said the next line.

“Don’t let that grocers child pull the wool over yer eyes folks….she was and is scammer, a charlatan and shyster…and I loved her”. It was then he was semi-pelted with a few jeers and a couple of empty coffee cups, and a few scrunched up pages of The Telegraph or one of the many ‘daylies’ of the time. Back then before smartphones their were newspapers everywhere within arms reach – especially on trains and busses.

“I loved her fiery red hair just as much as her sternly and poorly veiled pomposity…maybe even more! Naaah…just kidding! Or am I aha-haha!”

People yelled a little louder with their jeers, and some more things flew. This time a few more empty coffee cups flew and some more balls of scrunched up newspaper broadsheets. Everyone else on the train was almost as drunk as this man – Terrence Tipthorne, so the tongues were firing up – so to speak.

‘Sit down you fazed cookie’. The crowd around her laughed – includign a chuckle from me. The lady that had given terrence this quip-shutdown was a sixty year old Scottish accented lady. She was loaded in cardigan and loaded with clothes shopping bags. Back then sixty was quite old. Sometimes lonely older people living on their own went shopping late at night in London.Another spoke up against Terrence’s on the face of it ‘pro-Thatcher’ words.

‘That red haired witch! She smashed he bloody unions to dust you dolt’ – don’t you remember the miners strike for fucks sake?” said the man in oily overalls who was holding a spanner at both ends. He was actually one of those on call mechanics that sometimes had to use the tube late after they had fixed another train that had broken down.

‘She believed in clueless trickle-down economics’ said the drunken London School Of Economics university student who I noticed had a Text book half falling out of her haversack. It was on the famous mid nineteenth century English PM during the Victorian era ‘Pitt the Elder and his Economic Views Of England’ by Brian Ware. I thought that was funny – ‘B. Ware’.

“OH I WISH I WAS THATCHER’S HUSBAND! BUT DENNIS THE SOZZLED GIN GOLF BOY AND HENPECKED FOOL BEAT ME TOO IT….AH HAHAHAR” Terrence spluttered out ridiculously. There was a loud groan from the passengers and again a few projectiles here and there including a mans cap. The young socially invisible backbencher Tipthorne continued his drunken verbal antics as he swayed standing of his seat and clutching the hand rail for balance.

“SURE THE SEX WOULD BE BAD BAD BAD!!!! BUT THINK OF THE FRINGE BENEFITS!!!”. This line drew some sniggers, and a few guffaws and I watched the peoples faces turn upward – he had definitely just improved his reception more than a little. People in a big dirty mega city like London love an unexpected laugh. The English are not entirely mean or unsmiling or as stuffy as is commenly thought abroad. Nothing was thrown at Tipthorne this time – other than a rogue pencil that amazingly landed in his spiffy jacket pocket next to the fancy blue handkerchief. Tipthorne seeing this improvement from the captive audience was boyed to keep going. This time as he was getting a little tired from all the excitement he was alternatively loud and then quiet.

“If I was THATCHER’S HUSBAND….. I’d take her on long holidays in the COTTSWOLDS – because Politics is a STRESSFULL GAME!!!!”.

The sniggers turned into big guffaws and claps and cetainly no projectiles. People whispered to each other along the lines of ‘maybe we’ve misjudged the fellow’ and ‘haha this suited up git’s funny’ etc. Again he kept talking.

“I would have said to her ‘HEY THATCHER – don’t offshore that, don’t BORROW from those SHADY SAUDIS YA GINGER BITCH! We can pay OUR OWN BILLS with the pure traditional hard workin’ class factory-spun-labouring known as BRIIIITISH GRITTT”.

The train was now clapping to him and listening with quiet respect. usually someone in a suit was a snob who was down on the working class. Of course most on the train were lower or middle classes, but most would have had working class parents. Of course Tipthorne – as I had found out later from my recordings of his late night whisky addled mumblings – had one working class parent and one of lower middle class and had grown up in the East End; but they were the kind that had pretended they were ‘rich’ to anyone who didn’t know them. Tipthorne had always found this embarrassing. That’s why it was a common ‘late night mumble’ of his that my listening devices – bugs – had picked up. He continued the rant as the train clacked along and as his audience listened now with quiet interest.

“I would have said HEY YOU THATCHER – I really loved your alliance with RONNIE REAGAN – after all a B – GRADE ACTOR is exactly the steel trapped mind we needed to HITCH OUR SPOTTY ENGLISH ARSE TOO” Of course he was almost certainly being sarcastic, and they all mostly picked up on it. They loved it. They were putty in his hands – although he was too drunk to see the effect.

They were all so moved a throng of the tube passengers started to sing what turned out to be a messy but ebullient combination of they old-timey songs ‘for he’s a jolly good fellow’ and ‘hip hip hooray’. Now egged on by these simple folk he again took a mighty big gasp to load up the next verbal quickfire rounds. He knew he was on a roll.

“Now did I ever TELL YOU GUYS about the brilliant PR MAN friend of THATCHER’S by the name of Joseph GOEBBELS?”.

But he had ruined it. The train went silent. Half drunk people in nineteen eighty five didn’t really want to remember the Nazi’s as it reminded too many of them of ‘The Blitz’ that is the bombing of London. In fact it wa only twenty five years since the last of the rubble had been cleared from ‘The Blitz’.

Tipthorne had lost Though nothing was thrown. I saw the drawn faces of the older folk. Bit no stray paper cups and no scrunched up newspapers were thrown. Though there was just a barely audible gasp of disappointment from the forty-five pluses. Of course the Englanders on this train were now used to having their high hopes dashed in a seconds notice. They mostly accepted it with stiff upper lips. I mean by this time dissappointment was the norm.

The last decade – starting with the ‘oil shocks’ of the mid seventies had been very bad times for England – and they weren’t that good before that, even though England had been on the side that had won the war. Terrence Tipthorne’s impromptu comedy act had was simply a silly diversion anyway – they were happy for it while it had lasted. Now they simply went back to amusing themselves by the usual thoughts about the dull but necessary tasks they all had to do with the usual Saturday morning chores – dishes, vacuuming, doing the washing etc.

The spiffy dressed ‘Thatcher half-loving-half-hating man’ looked around, and had seen and accepted that his last line had not landed with his captive-on-the-train audience. Later on in his Political memoirs he would reference this laughably embarrassing happening when he was simply a promising backbencher. But being a Politician, of course in the memoir he wrote he would disguise it by pretending he was watching it all from afar in the train as an onlooker – instead of the truth that he was the main event speaker making a fool of himself.

Of course he never forgot the deeply embarrassing incident – but he wrote it off to a ‘temporary mental meltdown’ which afflicted many of the young-ish career minded ladder climbers of his type.

As he now many decades later sat in his country home as a man of eighty with his pipe and The Telegraph on his lap he was still happy to delude himself about hi political life and legacy. He told himself how glad he was that he had ‘made a difference in UK Politics’. In his time as PM he had indeed copied Thatcherism down to the last thread of its threadbare ideology. Sure this had meant a terrible social decline during his reign – that is beyond dispute even among the current Tory remnant.

During his time at Number Ten the poor had all became homeless, the middleclass decimated into abject poverty and were now living in squalid camping grounds as long term tenants. However the top half of the upperclasses – such as our man Terrence Tipthorn himself – had greatly prospered out of the carnage of what had been dryly and emotionlessly referred to as a ‘K shaped economy’ by the wealthy economists of the day. He took a sip of hi neat whisky.

“I was only doing the right thing by way of Thatcherism” he said to himself trying to squash the nagging feeling that was omnipresent.

“It was the execution of Thatcherism by the boneheads in my cabinet that ruined Britain for the millions of dispossessed stupid but honorable middle and working-class ‘brokies’ – it certainly wasn’t my fantastic adroit leadership”. Again trying to squash that nagging feeling of ‘being a traitor to his people’ that would pop into his mind a few times per hour.

At about this point he realized the drink had been drunk. When he had these intrusive thoughts his sips turned to gulps. He would then get up to his liquor cabinet as the mental stress of these invasive thoughts further ramped up.

As he did every night, he would drink until he passed out on his comfortable chair and then always wake up at eleven am sharp. After all there was no one else to wake him anyway. His wife had died a decade ago and no one had suspected a thing – but of course I had my recordings didn’t I?.

TO BE CONTINUED.

“The ‘Book-wormed Weirdo?’ ” (Prose)

Woman reading a book on a rooftop balcony with city skyline at dusk

by Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmith@gmail.com or martinantonsmith@gmail.com

Remember back to when you were at school?

Now I am not a mean man….BUT

At least half the kids were so disruptive & stupid,

That they could barely write their name at the top of the exam, test, or pop quiz.

And of course they sent some good teachers to their ends wits – and/or alcoholism & early retirement.

All those troublesome people left school and went into the workplace.

Contrary to what your mind wants to tell you –

They did not disappear at all.

They went into big faceless companies for ‘cubicle jobs’ just like you did.

It’s not that your were ‘dumb’ to do this – it’s that you have no choice when ‘coming of age’ –

That’s the de-facto law – you can sell out as a wage slave or not and live under a bridge.

And through some weird twist of fate,

About how the world has intellectual degraded,

Or just some giant cosmic inside joke,

They (the troublesome dummies) were far more likely to end up your boss than you theirs.

Ps and to make this clear: I’m all for ‘kindly dummies’ – ’tis the ‘bastardy dummies’ in my crosshairs.


–

You see no one liked a ‘brainiac’ a high school,

And I’m sure it’s not news for you – but they don’t like one after high school either.

You see the world is so backward that they’d rather destroy the day-to-day world,

Than allow someone with brains to be in a stock-standard leadership position,

In a stock standard concrete cubicle-land position,

In some god-forsaken-randomized-grey-cubicle-obsessed-zombified-mega-metropolis –

If you will excuse the flagrant artistic-license-inbued-verbosity.


Why do think it is that nothing ever works these days?

Why do you think terrible customer service is the norm?

Why do you people lose their shit and flip out at the drop of a hat?

It’s far more of a ‘bad gag’ than a ‘mistake-by-chance’.

Somewhere along the line the dumb kids were handed the ‘keys to the city’ and nice shoes,

And you were handed some boot polish while you sat in the dirt and read Kierkegaard.

And when they said ‘Yo egghead – shine my shoes’ – you complied meekly.

And as the years rolled by you grew sick of shining the boots of the dummies,

So you slowly dropped out of society.

After all – you were human – you could only take so much.


Now you sit in rags and read Schopenhauer,

Now you shine your own shoes but they have holes in them.

And as you wearily turn the dead philosophers’ pages you tend to agree wholeheartedly.

Sometimes you deeply reflect on yourself, the pages, and the world you’ve seen so far.

Boot-polish-days over – you allow your mind ‘total creative control’ to wander endlessly.

You wonder whether the story of ‘God vs Satan’ is actually true.

After all – surely all this suffering you’ve had is for a stoically good reason?

Sometimes of course it’s all a bit too much to handle –

We all have our good and bad days.


But luckily Marcus Aurelius is always there on your shelf, desk or floor,

To help you pay your rent,

And finally climb your sad carcass out of bed. .

Sure its midday or even later – but who really cares?

At least you still haven’t done yourself in.

After all you’ve given The Devil more than enough already –

Did you not play – via coercion mind – his stupid games for decades?

You bowed down to the dummies in charge for many a moonrise –

Yet you didn’t even go full-on ‘Postal’ – well apart from that one time anyway.

That long self-denial of your human needs was a minor miracle in itself – a true act of self-sacrifice.


As you think of all these things you don’t flinch.

You merely turn the page as you sit outside in the sun, wind, and then rain.

Christ! – Perhaps in the end you got what you wanted!

‘Degradation trip’ or not , you have survived – have you not?

Sometimes you wish you were one of them dummies and you immediately blush –

Despite there being no one around you – so far as you can tell that is.

You tell yourself things are good.

You’re now ‘happily living on the outskirts of hell’.

(that is away from Metropolis-Cubical-Zone Sector 23-G).

At least that’s what you tell your solitary friend,

Who visits once a month or so – if your lucky.

You’re pretty sure he’s (or she) is real.


Or have you just become another ‘Forty-Plus Frederick Nietzsche’?

(i.e. a formerly top-tier wise but now a shackled ‘madman’?)

And a madman of course never can see that going or have become quite mad.

It all depends whether they write about you one day or not.

But to hazard a guess, statistically you’ll probably be known as a ‘book-wormed weirdo’.

So learn to be happy with that –

As I have become.

The ‘Book-wormed-Weirdo rules ok?

Well he still draws breath anyway.