by Martin Anton Smith

I once knew a friend whose name was not-called-Derek.

He loved to cook with healthy doses of olive oil,

Which he poured from a tall oversize bottle.

Which was hoisted by way off guy ropes,

From a sturdy pyramidical latticed structure.

As a wordsmith I knew had to act quickly.

I knew right away It was my duty to rename him.

Instead of his usual name of “Percy Weatherby” –

I simply renamed him “Derrick”.

Ironically the name stuck.

By rights it should have slipped away entirely,

For with the move to clean energy –

No one knows what a “Derrick” is these days.

Now Readers I apologise for the poor quality of this Poem:

Perhaps one should never write a new Poem only –

So they can use a weird word like “Derrick”.

I only hope the audience will not “send me to the gallows” –

Which incidentily is why a “Derrick” was called a “Derick” –

In the first place – For it was a man called “Derrick” invented

The classical tall wooden plus rope structure of the Gallows.

To finish this sub par poem I will ask this final question:

Why is it not a thing to say:

“You better not do that or you’ll be Derricked”.