by Martin Anton Smith

If you die and people say ridiculous things at your funeral –

As they as normal folk are prone to do,

I think it’s only fair you briefly return to life like Lazarus,

Get out of your casket,

Walk or better limp up to the mic,

Grab them by the neck,

Then roundly slap them.

After that, yell loudly “Don’t ruin my funeral with that crap”.

After that you should return to your casket,

Get in then slam the lid down hard.

If done right there should be many “gasps from the gallery”,

But no so many that you can no longer reast in peace for eternity.

If this catches on,

Funerals will be far less painful.

For all attendees be they the living, the dead, or the living un-dead