My day job is a self employed handyman / garden man …today I had some good luck on the job (or was it bad luck?)

I was doing a painting job where I was using a tall ladder. I was painting outdoors on the exterior of the customer’s house – let’s call her “Beverly Tall” – a nice if slightly eccentric (I like that as so am I) older lady.

The location was next to a river where their was a lot of uneven “shist” rock. It was a hot day which I think didn’t help my thinking. You have to watch that if you work in the trades. If you overheat then so does your brain, and if your brain overheats then you can easily make a poor decision – often its safety related – you do something risky.

So I had the 7 ft latter out @ the ground was uneven. The ladder was propped up against the wall, leaning. Before I climbed the ladder I tested it @ it seemed ok. So much for that.

There I was with paint brush in hand & small container of paint in the other (so both hands were in use – that’s not ideal on a ladder is it?).

I was about two thirds up the ladder so that means if the ladder was seven foot then I was about 4.7 foot off the ground. That was also why I was a little cavalier about it too. I wasn’t all the way towards the top of the ladder so it seemed safer.

Anyway all of a sudden I was hurtling towards the ground. Interesting the ladder fell in an interesting way. You see it was also half touching a hand rail. So the failing ladder kind of rode the hand rail down the incline like a train .

I didn’t ride the ladder down I kinda got thrown in the opposite direction. I only realized what was happening when I was about a foot off the ground. I was kinda lucky as I just happened to be falling almost perfectly parallel to the ground. If the fall was more oblique I’d be landing on a far smaller part of me.

In that last foot as I was falling horizontally like a ‘sleeping man’ I was smart enough to spread my legs and arms a little and also extend my back a little to be even more horizontally square to the ground. There was a might thump.

My elbow was just a little bit sticking out. So that took a sharpish hit compared to my perfectly flat remainder. I can still hear than thump. Oh did I mention I’m not a small man – I’m 6 foot one @ weigh 100kg.

So I hit the ground with twice as much kinetic energy as someone who weighed 50kg or 1.33 times that of someone who weighed 75kg.

It is true the “the bigger they are the harder they fall” adage. I was experiencing it firsthand. I don’t think I’ve ever fallen off a ladder as an adult.

After the thump sound I thought to myself “this could be bad”. I picked myself up @ my brain was telling me “hey first impressions. Is everything’s ok other than your elbow is sore”.

As the seconds ticked from one second to two then five then ten the fear of being hurt dissipated into a ‘I hope you don’t find out your hurt tomorrow upon awaking”.

I handled my elbow – it seemed ok, it wasn’t broken or anything.

Luckily the customer was at home at the time – she’s left five mins before to get me some money out to pay me.

I shook myself off @ then realized I’m probably perfectly ok and can now move to the next job – vet back on the ladder from another angle and do what I was doing before the ladder slipped.

For a second I thought “wait aren’t you tempting fate here?” Then I realized not to be so silly. Their was a job to be done. I went back up and all was ok. The paint was applied.

After that the next job was to get on the roof to clear the gutters.

Don’t worry I didn’t fall off the roof. The roof had a very low pitch so there was no real risk of falling off the roof.

The weird thing was I had decided an hour before that – well before the fall while panting – to climb up on the roof instead of using a ladder and reaching up – because it was far easier and a lot safer than using a ladder on precarious ground all around the perimeter of the house.

Slightly ironic.

I finished up the gutter clearing and went to see the customer to get paid.

All up it was a good days work with no small slice of luck dished out. I could have easily broken a bone – probably a leg or an arm. It was nice that the universe sent me flying towards earth like a ‘sleeping man’ – my weight was spread out to minimize the pressure per square inch.

I guess I can also thank that I’m a little bit over weight right now. That half cm of fat helped I’m sure – cushioning the fall a bit.

They do say ladder falls are the most common injury at the home. It makes sense. Ladders slide away all to easily while on uneven ground.

Anyway I just thought I’d share my little stroke of luck – but then again if I was lucky it would have never happens in the first place right? I love that pessimists line. Somehow it resonates with me all too well.

Never be casual with a ladder folks – you might fall with more than just a thump! And the last thing you want is to have to visit the doctor – you’ll take a month to get over that in itself.

MS