Tag: LLB

by martin anton smith martinantonsmith@gmail.com

I Am Happy To Announce I Have Been “Admitted To the Bar” –

This Made Me Very Happy,

I Worked Hard To Achieve This,

I Did Much Study Of ‘Persuasion’ To Get Where I Am –

Which Is The third Bar Stool From The Right,

With a Pint Of Guiness In Each Hand.

Last Week’s Antics Are Well Forgiven.

As All ‘Brushes With the Law’ Should So Be.

And Though It Is Now Midnight,

I Say These Words With Great Sincerity,

And Though My Words Are Now a Slur,

And My Gait Is Sinusoidal,

I Contend That the Barman Serves Far Too Slow,

How Dare He Not Give Me a ‘Big Bot’ To Go?’

Time Is Now Swiftly Advancing

I Am Now Sad To Admit,

That It Is 3 AM, & I Am Well Lit!

I Am Clutched Under The Bouncer’s Arm,

Nestled Just Bellow Of His Tit.

As My Face Squarely Hits The Door,

I shout a fine ca – caw

“But I only wanted just one more”

Now The Ringing Words My Ears ‘Cherry Pick’:

“Your Banned Joe –

& Don’t Come Back Next Week”

“Oh No Not Again”, I Peeped.

As a Member of the LLB,

Or ‘Liquid Losers & Bums’

I Have Sadly Once Again Been Disbarred.

But Just As the World ‘Hates a Drunk’

Equally Soon Does Capitalism Give In,

All Booze Baron’s Worship

The Crumpled But Almighty ‘Slur Shekel’.

So Now I Do Plan My Standard Standup Speech

“Yes Lads!, ‘Scooner or Later’ I Hope To Announce

To You My Fellow Leaning Sozzles of the LLB!

Well I’ll Be! – I’ve Been Re-Admitted To The Bar”