men – Anton Martin Smith Writer

by Martin Anton Smith martinantonsmith@gmail.com

I think men age better than women,

But women want to party more as they age.

But by age 50 men & women are in the same place on that matter –

Neither of them wants to leave the couch.

That’s when the old party animals all marry each other,

Always in the now traditional ‘Western De-facto way’ of course,

With both the man & the woman finally both admitting total military defeat.

And while they have both agreed to unconditional surrender,

They can still argue peace terms until one of them dies.

So they can now pick away at each other equally, like cohabitating pigeons.

Sometimes pecking softly, other times the pecks reign down like the falling Sword of Damocles.

And all is good.

This one-part misery, one-part part heaven, is after all what they’ve been training for all their lives.

This all keeps both of them mentally agile,

Helping both parties stave away ‘early onset dementia’.

And all this sillyness is the correct amount of punishment for all that ‘wanting to be free’ for so long.

All in all,

I’d sum it up it like this:

All’s well that ends well.

Or as my old dusty old Chemistry Professor said:

“Like dissolves like”.

For it is true, isn’t it?

The world’s problems & most divorces for that matter,

Are surely mostly caused because people insist on trying to mix oil & water.

Can’t you see it’ll never work baby?

Even those old shabby co-habituating party animals can see that!

Let us always remember,

Wisdom comes in many guises,

And it often ain’t so pretty.

By Martin Anton Smith

The worst thing about getting older is your social life dries up,

Young people treat you like you are aged 125 & fuddy duddy.

Your sex life also almost entirely disappears @ you get used to it –

which is even more depressing in itself.

Another problem is it becomes near impossible to make new friends –

This problem is caused by the ‘set in your ways’ mental homeostasis crystalising.

When you are young everyone has left of centre views other than a few freaks –

These were the freaks that had already joined the tory party & already dressed like office managers.

But now when older you are either in the centre or the left or the right –

& those political views seem to now be great social chasms to traverse.

Whether you are a man ot a woman, getting old is still a tricky business to navigate –

And the phenomena of status & social standing has a lot to do with things.

In terms of ‘social standing’ – it’s fair to say it is quite different between the sexes.

I won’t list other than to get right to to denoemont:

Men who don’t have money & never looked good are lowest on the pecking order;

Men who have money & looks are on the top;

Men with Money & no looks are second;

Men with looks but no money are in second last place.

Not being Female, I will not pretend to do the same analysis –

Other than to say that the ‘former beauty type’ seems to suffer the most.

You can find these types working in retail shops in Malls –

preying on the customers for kicks.

Of course in terms of bodily health men & women both decline,

But men who exercise a lot seem to gain youth by way of muscle mass –

muscles seem to be there own ‘fountain of youth’.

For both the sexes the worst off is undoubtedly this one catorgory:

The long term career public servant or corporate office dweller,

Or as I like to call them “Unhappy Office Blobs” or UOB’s for short.

Those UOB guys age the worst – so as a message to the young:

Don’t be a UOB if you can help it.

There is one good thing about aging: You start to enjoy solitude more,

You appreciate nature more & are better at spotting a bastard or a bitch.

The moral of the story? – Yes, ‘aging’ sucks but as an accountant might say:

“There are significant fringe benefits to be had”

So if we are wise – when faced with the scary prospect of ‘aging’ –

There is no need to frantically clutch at lifes shrinking straws as we fall towards the graveyard,

We simply need to accept that the exciting war of youth’s past is long dead,

So as to finally enjoy the low-key-peace-era that has long since broken out.

The other option would be to be a forever partying wrinkled old fool…

But this is folly as you cannot recapture the past, no matter how you try…

for that perfect old adage is true

“You cannot put your arms around a memory”…

For is it not the inaliable right of a good citizen to grow old with grace?

NB: Like the crooked celebrity docter, I The writer hopes to be able to follow his own prescritions…

I will keep you posted with my progress in future as yet unwritten poems…