Tag: sex

By Martin Anton Smith

The worst thing about getting older is your social life dries up,

Young people treat you like you are aged 125 & fuddy duddy.

Your sex life also almost entirely disappears @ you get used to it –

which is even more depressing in itself.

Another problem is it becomes near impossible to make new friends –

This problem is caused by the ‘set in your ways’ mental homeostasis crystalising.

When you are young everyone has left of centre views other than a few freaks –

These were the freaks that had already joined the tory party & already dressed like office managers.

But now when older you are either in the centre or the left or the right –

& those political views seem to now be great social chasms to traverse.

Whether you are a man ot a woman, getting old is still a tricky business to navigate –

And the phenomena of status & social standing has a lot to do with things.

In terms of ‘social standing’ – it’s fair to say it is quite different between the sexes.

I won’t list other than to get right to to denoemont:

Men who don’t have money & never looked good are lowest on the pecking order;

Men who have money & looks are on the top;

Men with Money & no looks are second;

Men with looks but no money are in second last place.

Not being Female, I will not pretend to do the same analysis –

Other than to say that the ‘former beauty type’ seems to suffer the most.

You can find these types working in retail shops in Malls –

preying on the customers for kicks.

Of course in terms of bodily health men & women both decline,

But men who exercise a lot seem to gain youth by way of muscle mass –

muscles seem to be there own ‘fountain of youth’.

For both the sexes the worst off is undoubtedly this one catorgory:

The long term career public servant or corporate office dweller,

Or as I like to call them “Unhappy Office Blobs” or UOB’s for short.

Those UOB guys age the worst – so as a message to the young:

Don’t be a UOB if you can help it.

There is one good thing about aging: You start to enjoy solitude more,

You appreciate nature more & are better at spotting a bastard or a bitch.

The moral of the story? – Yes, ‘aging’ sucks but as an accountant might say:

“There are significant fringe benefits to be had”

So if we are wise – when faced with the scary prospect of ‘aging’ –

There is no need to frantically clutch at lifes shrinking straws as we fall towards the graveyard,

We simply need to accept that the exciting war of youth’s past is long dead,

So as to finally enjoy the low-key-peace-era that has long since broken out.

The other option would be to be a forever partying wrinkled old fool…

But this is folly as you cannot recapture the past, no matter how you try…

for that perfect old adage is true

“You cannot put your arms around a memory”…

For is it not the inaliable right of a good citizen to grow old with grace?

NB: Like the crooked celebrity docter, I The writer hopes to be able to follow his own prescritions…

I will keep you posted with my progress in future as yet unwritten poems…