“Music 1 Soccer 0 Children 2” (A Poem)

by Martin Anton Smith martinantonsmith@gmail.com

We Had A Child

During The Soccer World Cup

I wanted to call him Rolando

My Wife Ivana Horz-Schitt

Wanted Ronaldo

Ronaldo It Was

Soon We had An Ultrasound

After Viewing His Wild Unruly Kicks

I & My Wife Agreed He’ll Be Crap At Soccer

But A Good Punk-Rock Drummer

We Silently Rejoiced

Later She Fell Pregnant Again

Me Being A Typical Male

I started To Panic

I Kept Hearing A Vocal Line

Repeating In My Head

There’s Too Many Of Us There’s Too Many Of Us There’s Too Many Of Us

There’s Too Many Of Us There’s Too Many Of Us There’s Too Many Of Us*

I’m Glad to Say The Fear Passed

Well Over The Metaphorical Crossbars

Of Our Strange But Interesting Lives

P.s. My Six-Foot German Wife, Ivana Horz-Schitt While Being Imaginary, Is still quite intimidating none the less.

(*My regards to the Punk Album named Fear – The Record (1982) for inspiration)

Ep 47 of My Podcast – A 6 Poem Extravaganza + Narrations

Features: Fly The Nest/Finally Finalised/Remembering The Bar/Absolutely Positively Contrarian St/The Nouveauricians/Dead Men Don’t lie

Podcast Intro

Greetings & welcome to a Poem Extravaganza! Yes We have 6 Poems!!!! Yes it has been a very productive time of late on the poem front. I could talk about the world of late – Namely how ridiculous & duplicitous it mostly is – but instead I will simply do a quick chat about each Poem at the end of each poem. Note: Yes Things are ok in New Zealand – we have not yet been chipped yet I repeat We have not been chipped yet!

POEMS

“Fly The Nest” (A Poem)

Lose a PAYCHECK
& The ‘Sunday Dreads’
Gain A Life!
Then Sleep In your Shed

Tell Your Boss to “Get F*cked”
Then Breakdance in the Lift
You’ll Sail Into The Sunset
If First You Catch The Drift

Of Course, You’ll Second Guess
This Beating Of Your Chest
But Could This Dream Be Real?

Naration:

Ok Poem 1 “Fly The Nest” A simple short Poem about quitting your soulless chicken barn raised Corporate Job! Oddly I don’t talk of what you’ll do after you quit – now that’s a massive oversight – let me finish the Poem here – it is in instructional Form:

Now To Leave The Building

Then Start Flapping Wings As A Dove Would

Wait 7 Seconds as it will take a while to Liftoff

Drift Off Into The Sunset

Hang Out With The Other Freed Slave Doves

Make Coo Coo Noises That Translate as Follows:

“No Way You Bird Brain!

My Ex Office-Life In The Cubicle Chicken Coop World Was Way Worse Than Yours”

You now decide to dive bomb your old boss crap on his bald head & steal his sandwiches.

You never liked that old ‘Love Cliche’ about Doves being Loving anyway.

“Finally Finalised” (A Poem)

Brazen False Authority

Rides Deception’s Wings

Rules our Modern Times

& Plans Your Demise

Its Mouths Multiplied

Eyes Everywhere

Ears Engaged

It Counts Down

The Predetermined Date

The Final Flaunted Fling

Where You Will Demand

The Sale Of Your Soul

Is Finally Finalised

Narration:

Poem 2 “Finally Finalised” This is a Poem about how too many of us have been brainwashed into demanding our own servitude & lack of personal freedom – my theory on these idiots were/are the noveau riche people who had a great time on laptops and in leafy suburbs during the pandemic – while everyone else suffered. This effect makes me think how selfish human nature is, and how breaking free of that should be everyone’s mission.

“Remembering The Old Working-Class Bar” (A Poem)

I was 22 years Old

And behind the Bar.

A working-class bar where the old coots give you shit.

The more they drink the more confidant they get.

The jokes were always bad.

The couple owners were old close to retirement,

and the tough as boots old lady had an eagle eye at all times.

My first week she told me to the dairy go next door for a “long weight”,

I fell for it like a total boob.

The old man was a classic old time slow grafter,

who occasionally when drunk propositioned and squeezed the female bar staff.

He did it to the lady that ended up lifting his cash from him.

I guess that’s why she allowed it.

There was the devil eyed nasty alcoholic teacher lady,

Who took a disliking to me,

I assume it was because at the time I looked far too much ”young anglo male’,

And she probably deep down wanted to be one too.

Or she was probably just a garden variety mad as hell teacher who hated herself.

There was my manager was 36 and partied every night,

I couldn’t keep up with him, I tried for a week.

There was the old Naval Hero who was the cook,

A sneaky old coot that tried to push me around.

if 3 people ordered a meal at the same time he panicked,

much like a MGM cartoon character about to be blown up.

The joint was laden with smoke from cigarette smokers,

That second hand smoke annoyed the hell outa me.

There were the gamblers at the pokie machines,

They sadly played pushing the button time after time,

desperately hoping for “free spins”.

If I only had a pint of beer for every time a Jackpot winner said:

“Thank god I can pay the electric bill now”,

I’d never pay for a beer again.

There was the dopey musclehead who had a too decent Japanese wife,

He was running around behind her back with some drunkard whore.

One day a tough guy came in and threatened us behind the bar,

the musclehead cowered despite his muscles,

He was still the weak bullied kid in his mind.

There was the punter with ginger beard double denim & cowboy hat a wannabe “outlaw”,

he gave me a lot of shit, then one day I gave him two barrels back,

Which drew hoops and claps from the gallery.

The Pub’s suburb was the same one my Paternal Grandad, (Father as a kid) & Great Grandfather had lived in,

some 35 years later.

The Grandfather was a Drunk – and here I was serving his type.

I didn’t think much of that but the older I got the spookier I thought of it.

When the Rugby was on it was packed out,

Any ‘hospo’ worker knows how hard a job it is when a bar’s packed out.

No one gives Hospo workers credit – how bizarre!

They allow people to blow off steam, take a tone of crap & feed people,

That’s an important job if you ask me.

One day the owners sold out & retired.

The option was given to stay on with the new owners,

no one wanted to do it, including me.

It must have been an alright time.

That reminds me, I had a fling with a customer the red head student teacher once,

She wasn’t a supermodel, but I was male & 23,

23 yr old males don’t say know to a “free meal”.

Why are Teachers so horny? Is it the stress of their jobs?

It was twenty years ago now, and I still remember those years well.

I went back to the Bar a few months ago,

A few changes but roughly the same.

I saw a few wooden seats that were the exact same seats.

I ordered a coke so as not to seem odd.

It would have been nice to see an old face – alas there was none.

I wondered how many of those lovable old coots had passed.

RIP to all those old coots of that Chatty Bar in New Brighton Christchurch, NZ.

I still remember ya’s.

Narration

Poem 3 “Remembering The Working Class Bar” When I was 22 I worked in a Bar in Christchurch NZ – this is an Ode to that experience.

“Absolutely Positively Contrarian Street” (A Poem)

Posted in UNCATEGORIZEDTagged LIESLIFEPOEMSSOCIAL COMMENTARYTRUTHEDIT

If You Are Born Into Madness – Madness Is Normal & Unseen.

You Can Be Born Into a Mad Family,

Or a Mad Town,

Or a Mad Nation,

Or a Mad Planet,

Or All Of The Above.

But You Can See Madness – If You Work Hard,

& Strive To Be a Contrarian – An Independant Thinker.

It Is Worthwhile,

& Despite The False Adage “Ignorance Is Bliss”,

Truth Is Nirvana.

They’ll Hate You For Wanting It.

They’ll Hate You For Seeing It.

They’ll Hate You For Teaching It.

Wear That Badge Of Honor,

That The Madman Pinned On Your Chest.

For When A Madman Calls You A Madman

You Must Not Be Mad.

As Two Negatives Multiplied,

Always Make A Positive.

Live In A Universe Of Positively Truthful Nirvana,

Where The Madmen Are Slowly Disappearing From View.

Narration : Poem 4. “Absolutely Positively Contrarian Street” A Simple Poem which espouses to benefit of not following the crowd. Yes ! Be a contrarian. But then now that I think of it – If everyone is a contrarian doesn’t that also make them a conformists? This effect happens a lot doesn’t it? That’s signals the end of an alternative movement – when it becomes mainstream & full of ‘pile ons’. This happened in the Hippie Movement & the Grunge Era & we see it now with Woke-ism

“The Nouveauricians” (A Poem)

If You Are A 21st Century

Nouveau Riche Citizen

You Duplicate

The Worst Aspect

Of The Roman Empire:

False Elitism.

Which Spurned

Class Based Society

Casual Social Rejection

Brutish Behaviour

Vagrant Immorality

Rampant Materialism

Child Abuse

So Don’t Be

A ‘Nouveaurician’

Narration:

Poem 5 “The Nouveauricians” A Simple poke in the eye of the Nouveau Riche – The best thing about this Poem is the new term “The Noveauricians” I will use it as much as possible from here on in.

“Dead Men Don’t Lie” (A Poem)

by Martin Anton Smith

There Were Three Billion Views
Of Something In The News
I Can’t Remember What It Was
But It certainly Wasn’t Truth
Yes, “Social Media’s a Curse”
Said The Limp Man In The Hearse
& The Flowers Drooped As He Sped By
But Oh My Word!
A Dead Man Doesn’t Lie

Narration

Poem 6 “Dead Men Don’t Lie” Another Simple throwaway poem that talks of the evils of Social Media. At heart I feel we should as Lars Ulrich’s Dad might say be better off to “Delete That”.

“The Landlord, The Weed & The Warlords” (A Poem)

by Martin Anton Smith martinantonsmith@gmail.com

My Gardener Read A Lot About Napoleon

When I asked Him To Pull Weeds He Refused

He Said He Hadn’t Yet Finalised Battleplans

For The Eastern Portion Of My Yard

I asked Him “But Are You Up For It?”

He Said “It May Be My Demise”

I Turned Around & Went Back To My Silly-Screen.

& Left Him To Turn the Pages Of His ‘Parallel Lives’

When I Returned An Hour Later

A Russian Gardener Had Usurped Him

I Was About To Celebrate My Weeds Death

When I Saw He Too Was Holding A Book

“The Brothers Karamazov”

Oh No I Thought As I Realised That

My New Gardener Was Reading Stalin’s Favourite Book

I Tested Him

“Would You Mind Pulling Those Weeds” I Asked

He Simply Pointed Over To the Garden

My Landlord Was Pulling the Weeds Out

But They Were Also Tied to a Stake

I Went Back Inside to My Silly-Screen With A Broad Smile

It Was Nice To See Societies Roles Reversed

And Soon the Garden Would Look Great!

For Garden Work Is Just Like the History of Tyranny

The Ends Justify the Means.

“Re-Admitted To the Bar” (A Poem)

by martin anton smith martinantonsmith@gmail.com

I Am Happy To Announce I Have Been “Admitted To the Bar” –

This Made Me Very Happy,

I Worked Hard To Achieve This,

I Did Much Study Of ‘Persuasion’ To Get Where I Am –

Which Is The third Bar Stool From The Right,

With a Pint Of Guiness In Each Hand.

Last Week’s Antics Are Well Forgiven.

As All ‘Brushes With the Law’ Should So Be.

And Though It Is Now Midnight,

I Say These Words With Great Sincerity,

And Though My Words Are Now a Slur,

And My Gait Is Sinusoidal,

I Contend That the Barman Serves Far Too Slow,

How Dare He Not Give Me a ‘Big Bot’ To Go?’

Time Is Now Swiftly Advancing

I Am Now Sad To Admit,

That It Is 3 AM, & I Am Well Lit!

I Am Clutched Under The Bouncer’s Arm,

Nestled Just Bellow Of His Tit.

As My Face Squarely Hits The Door,

I shout a fine ca – caw

“But I only wanted just one more”

Now The Ringing Words My Ears ‘Cherry Pick’:

“Your Banned Joe –

& Don’t Come Back Next Week”

“Oh No Not Again”, I Peeped.

As a Member of the LLB,

Or ‘Liquid Losers & Bums’

I Have Sadly Once Again Been Disbarred.

But Just As the World ‘Hates a Drunk’

Equally Soon Does Capitalism Give In,

All Booze Baron’s Worship

The Crumpled But Almighty ‘Slur Shekel’.

So Now I Do Plan My Standard Standup Speech

“Yes Lads!, ‘Scooner or Later’ I Hope To Announce

To You My Fellow Leaning Sozzles of the LLB!

Well I’ll Be! – I’ve Been Re-Admitted To The Bar”

“Long Live the Powercut: The Little EMP Blast That Could” (A Poem)

By Martin Anton Smith martinantonsmith@gmail.com

The War: Neurotypical Nouveau Riche

Vs The Non Neurotypical Underclasses

The Battleground Now: The World Before The EMP Blast

The Battleground Later – After The Blast.

They The Neurotypical Nouveau Riche

Had It Good As Kings Of The World

With their Modern Day Slavery Perfected

Via Propaganda They Intentionally mislabelled Their Slaves & Slavery As:

“The Working Poor”

“Minimum Wage Economy”

“The Working Classes”

But After The Blast

Guerrilla Warfare Will Be The Norm

Their Money Land, Stuff & Influence

Gone With The Electron

Their Daimlers As Dead As the Dodo

Their Worst Nightmare Came True

Yes – This Was The EMP Blast That Could, And Did.

The Underdog Thrives In Chaos

No Structure Favours The Slaves

And Their Natural Leaders – The Non Neurotypicals

We Can Make Things

We Can Problem Solve

While Our Slave Masters Become As Newborn Babies

They Will Only Want To Hold On To Power

But After The EMP Blast

The Fallout Will Be The Medicine

They Were Afraid Of Their Destiny

So They Rallied Against It

Deluding Themselves

But As They Felt History Approach

They Felt The Warmth Of The Approaching Firestorm:

The EMP BLAST

The Day They Would Face Judgement

Judgement Day

The Date Was The Near Future.

And Thirty-Six Weeks Later

The War Was Won

With The Feeling of ‘Aftermath’ Enveloping Us Swiftly

We Didn’t Talk Much Of Our Former Slave Bosses

The World Was Refreshed

The War Was Won

We Did What Was Natural

And The Legends Of the War Were Encoded

Into The Cultural Artefacts

Of Our New Traditions

A Bedrock Of ‘A New Beginning’

A Non Neurotypical World

Was Dug Out Of The Earth

By The Little EMP Blast That Could.

Epilogue:

But Did It Last?

Or Did Corruption’s Tentacles Return

As A Ghost Riding The First Returning Electrons

When the Power One Day Came Back On?

You Will Know The Answer When I Ask You This:

What Year Is It – & Are You Reading This On Parchment?

If Yes – Rejoice!

If Not – Dark Forces Have Again Returned.

” Ye Old Tale Of The Dastardly GFUKMUC ” (A Poem)

By Martin Anton Smith martinantonsmith@gmail.com

If you’re really happy its Friday – there’s a problem to be worked on. You know it, I know it – we all know it.

“But what of all my accoutrements” I hear you say. Yes, exactly that is what trapped you in the first place.

In Big Cities The Hamster Wheels Sell Like Hot Cakes – But Shouldn’t You Treat Yourself to a Hotcake By a Country River?

You Don’t Need to Be Like Paul Gauguin – Who ditched his stockbroker career & wife career for wild poverty-stricken artists life (& eventual fame as a ‘Master’- yes that is true, but half that was also blind luck).

You can exchange the Hamster Wheel for a lower geared one which turns more freely. Never forget your life is not supposed to be toil & no freedom – that’s not why you’re here. . .If you don’t know that, there’s plenty of People out there to exploit your mindset…namely a Giant Faceless Universal Klingon-Like Multinational Unkind Corporation (i.e. a G*F*U*K*M*U*C)

Always remember Something or Someone amazing put you here to experience what is naturally here & to help a few fellow villagers – ‘Concrete jungles’ & ‘Computer screens’ & Rent & ‘Mortgages’ & ‘Late for workness’ & ‘Good Suburbs'” are a construction of “The Almighty Economy”.

You know that 75% of “the economy” is mostly a swindle. Work in the 25% that isn’t one.

Don’t keep working for that G*F*U*K*M*U*C forever – after all, on your death bed you will definitely not say

“I wish I had worked more hours, months & Years for that G*F*U*K*M*U*C”