Oh Mr Fritz & Stephen Fry, Writers Block Is Not A Lie” (A Poem)

by M Anton Smith

Tonight on WarwatchTV

I ask the questions on everyone’s lips:

“Is it too early to trust German’s again?”

“Or is another short guy with an even shorter moustache with an even shorter temper hiding in the shadows”

“& Shall we release the WW2 German POW’s Yet”

Answers (Y, Y, N)

Citizens who score 3/3 Get a pat on the head

Citizens who score 2/3 Get a pat on the back

Citizens who Score 1/3 Get a pat on the butt

Citizens who score 0/3 must be renamed ‘Pat’

NB: This Poem was written to prove this:

Even GermanWW2 Xenophobia cannot so easily cure

‘Writers Block Part 432,085’….

The only thing worse perhaps –

Is agreeing to leave a blank page blank.

Hell! It may even be worse fate than WW2 itself!

Thankyou for listening –

Please send your complaints to us in this format –

On the reverse side of a postage stamp

Written with a blunt Carpenters pencil.

With a word limit of 1.

We promise all intelligible complaints received –

Will be taken seriously…

Well….at least as seriously as this Poem.

Good Day to you all – the wings are calling me home.

Oh Lord may ‘writers block’ please leave me soon.

My poor readers do not deserve this!

They will not stand such Chicanery!

They will not sit for such vagrant effrontery!

They will not lie down for such shyster-ist perfidy-ness!

But luckily for me they all fly for big words.

But how long can this scam last?

That reminds me – I must schedule a meeting with Stephen Fry.

Writers Block Poem #2 (A Poem)

By Martin Anton Smith

A few months ago, I wrote a Poem about “Writers Block”

It was about 10 lines.

To Steal Lars Ulrich’s favourite term,

Its content was best described as mostly “Stock”.

But alas – there is reason in the madness –

Yes! Let me tell you kind Sirs & Madams – the phrase “please add stock”,

isn’t just for the pages of cookbooks – the writer needs just it as much as the happy eater.

The strategy for the writer is that it will break the hoodoo that is ‘writers block’.

To put pen to paper or more modernly, single-index-finger to dirty-computer-button.

Because in the Poem or Writing game, to not be productive is to certainly risk ‘dying off entirely’ –

And that my fine poem reading, writing, & consuming friend – is a fate worse than death.

But perhaps as the High School English Teachers used to say, I am “exaggerating for effect” –

Like a typical over-the-top-arts-flake’ – yes this is possible.

But the again – perhaps not – after all good poem’s tell a story, do they not?

And no one would argue with the truism ‘good stories have changed the world’.

Well – Maybe a Lawyer or a Politician would but that merely proves my point.

& so now that this poem has served its purpose – to break writers block,

There is no point in more placking away at these dirty, chocolaty keys.

The “kill writers block objective” has been reached and on top of that,

To do so would result in this C- poem becoming a D- poem

& that is stupid in anyone’s book -even mine.

The End

“Writers Block” (A Poem)

‘Writers Block’…

Connects with the writer’s head

It was a sad story

Fueled by too many rejection letters

Luckily it was just a block of cheese

That the writer had stupidly

Put precariously on an overhead shelf

Above their writer’s desk

Cheese though is softish

So it didn’t hurt The writer much

And anyway any disappointment & soreness

Was Whiled Away

Upon Munching On The Cheese

the Belly Now Filled

The Words Did Flow