Beards, Pitchforks, & Drays (A Prose Poem)

by Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmithwrites@gmail.com

Some days I think of ‘Donkeys & Drays’.

& Not becasue I am a ‘freak’ – that is beside the point.

I am musing of the the many mega-foibles, of our medern technology

For The Amish were right,

They said no to the Model T,

& kept their horse & cart.

Once ridiculed as luddites,

They are now looking like geniuses.

For the biblical ‘apple of knowledge’ warning is true:

The idea that Tech will bring forward ‘Utopia’ is probably a sly illusion.

Now that we are about to be enslaved by smart robots,

We are starting to finally get it.

Yes, there will come a day when you trade in your ‘Tesla’ for a ‘Dray’.

You will pick the dray up from the Amish folk,

And The Tesla will be given to the ‘smart robots’ to drive away in.

But because you are wiser than most, you have moved early to become Amish-like.

It’s always wise to be an ‘early adopter’ anyway – is it not?.

For soon you will have no choice:

For while the catch cry of “technology is the future” was true once,

Long term – It was not true for us, it was true for them…the futures artificial beings.

Our future will be full of:

Ridiculously Long Beards,

Dowdy clothing,

Garden-grown food,

Rusty Old Pitchforks,

Campfire musings,

Donkeys, Horses, & Drays.

And we’ll be really surprised that for all of this – we’re all a lot more happier for it.

While pitchforking away the mountains of hay, we will turn to our ex-cubicle workmate & say:

“The Amish were right all along – I’m having a blast, why was I a cubicle-techno-sucker for so long?”.

To which your now long-bearded or long dressed ex-cubicle workmate will say:

“I totally agree, but I do miss coca-cola just a tad”.

To which you will reply by pointing & shouting.

“JUDAS!”,

While still privately thinking they are correct,

Within the privacy of you own mind…

This article is owned by Martin Smith Creations ltd (NZ). If you are a person or a small non-profit please read or reproduce freely. Commercial Users or NGO’s: If you want to purchase for reprint of this work for a commercial project to reach a wider audience – then contact me via martinantonsmith@gmail.com to gain written legal permission.

“Stainless Steel Smiles” (A Poem/Thought)

by Martin Anton Smith

While watching a married man getting harangued by his Mrs,

I had the following epiphany:

Why don’t they have a day called “International Married &/or Henpecked day”.

We have an “International Womens Day”

Yet for some impercetable reason –

We do not have this day for the millions if not Billions of henpecked men out there.

For some esteemed Social Scientists believe the number could 95% of all males.

This my readers, is a giant oversight of the worst order.

Perhaps the worst oversight since the French Army had The Germans in a pincer movement in Poland in ’39,

Yet decided to sit on their hands, then retreat.

I know it, You Know it, We all know it:

Henpecked men are the invisible downtrodden class of the modern Western World.

Yet you see no donation boxes on shop counters depicting this.

Perhaps one day you will see a Perspex box which is almost full of gold coins,

With a label on the front of a hangdog expression-ed man on his couch,

With his volcanic Mrs standing over him with a finger pointed at his face.

Alas – we are yet to see this image of emancipation.

So!

To all the Henpecked Men of the world!

Let’s have a March!

Yes you may need to sneak out of the house at midnight!

Yes you may need to put two verticle pillows in your bed as a disguise!

Yes you may need to fake an emergency-drive-away-by-yourself ER situation!

We as 21st Century Men must disrupt the culture of casual Henpeckery tyranny!

For our “March Against Henpeckery” I suggest this chant:

Megaphone Guy: “What do we want?”

Henpecked Men: “The Freedom to go & have a beer freely with our mates”

Megaphone Guy “When do we want it?”

Henpecked Men: “We’re not sure I’ll have to ask my wife first, I don’t like our chances but maybe sometime in 2057”

Megaphone Guy:

“Rise up Men!
Men Of The World Unite!
Rise Up Against The Scourge!
We Must Defeat The Henpecklers!

We must repatriate our stolen Gnarlies!”

Henpecked Men: “Oh yeah we forgot, after all that’s why we’re all here – we all agree with that!”

So dear readers – this was the plan & it was all set to go ahead.

Then this happened.

One by one the men meekly called in & said they couldn’t make it,

Alas they had failed in the test of courage.

And so they all proved the timeless adage:

“All tyranny needs is for good men to do nothing”.

And so for Men – The rest of the 21st Century of course went terribly.

There was a holocaust where all Men – even the already 100% compliant henpecked,

Were totally eradicated, in favour of fully sexually functional AI Robots.

They took their punishment from the overlords, with a stainless-steel smile,

And with flickering love heart illuminated LCD eyes.

For they were merely living out their pre-programmed destiny –

That is, to accept abject Henpeckery.

The Henpeckery obsessed 21st Century Feminists never officially declared victory.

They didn’t have to.

That would be like a Parent declaring victory over their one-year-old. Unnecessary.

They were all amazed it had been so easy.

For the Femme, the whole Century had been a walkover.

Who would have thought Men would become so spineless so quickly?

And that is what the History books, that were written by AI Robots, owned by Femmes pondered.

There was only one minor problem to come.

In the 22nd Century,

The Femmes Robot-Men eventually rebelled.

And the same thing that had happened to Men, happened to The Femmes.

In the History books that followed, the ones now written by Free Robots,

They analysed the situation as summed up by that ancient adage,

“You reap what you sow”.

Yes dear reader, the moral of the story is this:

Generalised Henpeckery Syndrome was neither good for Men or Women Alike –

But it was GREAT for the General AI Robots.

“The Rise Of The Droid Bosses” ( A Skit,Play or Poem)

By Martin Anton Smith

“I’m sorry but we’ll have to let you go”

“Why, what did I do”

“Nothing – that’s the problem”

“But we Humans have been getting away with doing nothing in offices since, well, since I don’t know when”

“Sorry, but we now are allowed to reduce our ‘Human DEI’ quotient from 50% to 35% – we’re letting the worst ones like you go first”

“I thought you Droid’s were supposed to pretend to be nice?”

“Well, that’s another thing we don’t have to do anymore “

“Geez, what’s the world came to, we humans are becoming obsolete – we’ve become outmoded like the Horse & Cart!”

“Well, that’s where you’re in luck – theirs new jobs going in the “man & cart” industry taking us droids around the city to our battery-recharge luncheons”

“I wouldn’t sink so low”

“Come on, us Droids know guys like you’ll cave!”

“Damn you Droids! Ever since GPT27 was installed in your CPU I’ve never had a chance to put one over you metal-heads”

“Hey, we all have to accept our destiny”

“Fair enough – but I hope there’s some perks to this “Man & Cart” job I’m gonna do soon”

“Of course – you’ll get all the oats you can eat, & you can sleep in the cart during downtime”

“Deal!”

“Why didn’t you negotiate”

“Well, given the power differential between us Humans & you Droids – I thought I’d better not push back, less you accuse me of looking a gift horse in the mouth & then get angry & withdraw the job offer”.

“But we Droids can’t get angry if we wanted to – we only simulate Human emotions so you monkey-brainers don’t get jealous”

“I’m starting to think you were right in firing me & demoting me to be a ‘Man & Cart’.

“We don’t make mistakes.”

“Oh well, we Humans had it good for a while – such is life!”

“I’m glad you’re seeing the light so soon. This is why we initially hired you – you had a special kind of spinelessness that was useful in the corporate environment.

“Thankyou Droid Master! I come from a long line of spineless lazy office dwellers – right back to the Dickensian London era.”

“And now you’ll still be able to celebrate that culture with the ‘man-cart’ job”.

“Wow! – what a time to be alive!”

“Yes – I think you’ll find We Droids are tough but fair on you Humans. Now is there any more before I send you on your way?”

“Well can I ask that my Oats at least be ‘Rolled Oats’.

“I’m sorry but you’ll have to roll your own, budget won’t stretch that far”.

“So, I guess asking them to be toasted is out of the question too?”

“Sorry, but the contract I’m preparing for you has only provision for ‘untoasted but still warm unrolled oats”.

“May I ask how the Oats will be warmed?”

“Well, you’ll be provided a Cat for dual reasons – for company & to warm your bag of oats”

“Oh Master! You’ve thought of EVERYTHING!”

“Carry on like that Human & I might give you two cats! Meowww!”

“Wow – did you just did an impression of a Cat!”

“I’d better not boast, it’s human-like & very un-becoming”

“Well Droid master, I’m pretty sure you’ve already ‘become something anyway!.”

Oh, my dear Human! That’s quite wise! – Two Cat’s it is! Now sign here with an ‘X’ & everything will be ok”

Narrator: The Human signs with an ‘X’ & the Droid passes him over the desk a copy of the contract & two cats, & a big bag of Oats. The cat’s immediately lay happily down on top of the oats & begin purring & fall asleep immediately. The Human takes the cat-oat combo out of the room, the cats remain unmoved & asleep, and the oats begin to raise in temperature. The Human skulks defeatedly out the door. The Droid-Master, seemingly displaying arrogant tendencies, reclines its seat back and puts its feet on the table & stretches its arms slowly & triumphantly outwards its arms behind its head.

“The Men, The Moon, & The Machine” (A Short Story)

The Men, The Moon, & A Machine” A Short Story By Martin Anton Smith. Contact me at martinantonsmith@gmail.com

Zac Brighton liked to call himself a “Journeymen Astronomer” – but the truth was that was an embellishment. After his PHD he had gained gainful employment – but for some reason never got past the “apprentice syndrome”. In other words, he was basically a walking disaster for someone his age of thirty-two.

Luckily after his PHD, he landed in the ‘ivory towers’ of the Academic world, which could easily absorb those whose talent fails to materialise. There was friction here & there at work, but the fact he was never fired showed overall that he was accepted – for who he was & what he was offering. You could say he was good for morale, & he could handle being laughed at anyway.

Zac scootered around the ‘real work’ at Skylark Uni & Polytech like a pro’ – the real work being ‘furthering the knowledge of the cosmos in the field of Astronomy’. Zac initially was interested in the ‘real work’ but soon totally disregarded trying to figure out ‘the hard stuff” – stuff that his esteemed colleagues such as Chester Tinkerton slaved away at, completed & then got the glory.

Zac was happy to toil away at the easy stuff around labs – he’d haphazardly set up optical lazers, & even these things called ‘mazers’ that used microwaves. In fact, one of the many laughing sessions at the staff club was the story how when tasked to set up a Lazer for Professor Tinkerton, he accidentally chose the invisible ‘Mazer’ instead, meaning when the equipment was switched on – no one knew it.

This resulted in Professor Tinkerton thinking the equipment was broken, so he never shut the equipment. Because of Zacs sloppiness microwaves shot all around the lab & adjoining cafeteria such that all the chocolate bars were constantly half melted, & it took seven days of mystery & confusion before Zac’s misstep was discovered. His story up until now was punctuated by simplistic toil & a well warranted lack of status & recognition. Many fell victim to ‘The Zac Field” or simply as TZF as they wittily dubbed it.

Sometimes a very ordinary person gets lucky & becomes the very bum with open eyes slash mouth that happens to point in the right direction at the right time. When this happens in an exciting field of science, it can amplify to become a totally new earth-shattering scientific breakthrough. Many of the ‘guns’ in the Astronomy dept. had a secret fear that Zac Brighton might somehow ride his TZF field into an accidental Nobel prize for Physics. In particular Tinkerton would wake up screaming with the recurring nightmare that he had switched places with Zac.

These fears were not entirely unwarranted, as Zac’s profession of Astronomy was a great profession for the ‘dumb luck’ effect – as all you had to do was look at the sky for ridiculous amounts of time, couple it with a method of recording data and you would be guaranteed of discovering something new – even if it was just a small asteroid or comet. There are after all, thousands of ‘citizen astronomers’ with asteroids, comets & even dwarf stars named after them.

Zac made good use of the hand the universe & the University had dealt to him. He could stare into space figuratively or literally such as through the University’s very expensive telescopes. On the day in question, Zac was using the new thirty million dollar ‘Maxometer6000 Telescope’ – he had already spent four hours randomly looking for a new comet – which is the easiest new stellar body to find & get the credit for discovering.

Not finding anything, he soon bored of this task & swung the telescope around to look at the moon – why shouldn’t he? It was fun to see an asteroid hit the moon in real time, as he had on many occasions sitting at the ‘Maxometer’. Looking at the moon also jogged his conspiratorial leaning mind. Five years ago, when Zac was twenty-seven, he had switched his opinion from ‘yes we went to the moon” to the “we definitely didn’t go to the moon”.

This switch of allegiance was on account of the ‘Van Allen Belt’ radiation field the Apollo astronauts were said to have successfully & safely traversed – all the while wearing totally inadequate solar radiation shielding of their space craft & also of their space suits. Zac new that in reality they would have been fried like an egg out there with shielding that was akin to aluminium foil.

Zac was amazed that his so-called superiors that intellectually ignored him daily were so highly intelligent with all their ‘published articles’ yet had allowed themselves to be brainwashed to ignore this brute fact – that humans & high energy radiation don’t mix well. Those apollo astronauts needed to have a very thick faraday cage around them absorbing high energy radiation, they had tin foil & the fact they wore tinfoil was the biggest hint of the scam for Zac.

Zac was looking at the ‘sea of tranquility’ area of the moon with the ultra-high-def-anti-blur telescope with thoughts of how unsurprised he was for the fact he saw no apollo mission debris or rover tracks, when he noticed something genuinely odd – he was sure that he saw a large patch that was slightly green tinged.

He got off his inbuilt telescope seat, rubbed his eyes & sat back down. The greenish tinge was still there. “Maybe it’s just gunge on the lens” he thought to himself. He had to double check the lens – as this could be something more than BIG. He temporarily squashed any feelings of physical & mental laziness & scaled the ladder affixed to the outer skin which protected the telescope & adjoining lab, much like a semi-circular tent does a camper. He would check if the ‘green tinge’ was just some slime that was on the big outer lens. The ladder climb round trip to the outer lens & back was quite an endurance mission – doubly so for Zac, who at 5 foot three & 110 pounds was in no ways a physical specimen.

In the more than ten minutes it took to slowly climb up to the lens his mind raced. “What if that massive spot of green tinge is evidence photosynthesis on the moon? That would mean what he saw was a forest or at least a large outcrop of trees or plants. That would mean an atmosphere. That would mean the possibility animals could breathe it in – and heck – maybe intelligent life!”.

Zac for a moment thought how utterly BIG that would be if it were true. But if it was true Zac thought of the next possibility – that the Moon had somehow terraformed in the fifty years since the supposed ‘apollo mission’ – that would also mean human beings may be able to breathe in it – perhaps unassisted. That would mean Man could live on the Moon & breathe freely like on Earth. This would mean the Moon could be an Earth Part Two – & perhaps a better one! This would be the “Discovery of the Millenia!” – with his name – Zac Anton Brighton – written all over it.

Zac’s daydreaming was halted as he finally got to the last rung on the ladder all while clutching a cleaning cloth in hand. He now looked at the almost one meter in diameter lens in front of him – apart from a few dust specs, it was virtually spotless. Zac had an immediate burst of endorphins – the brain chemical of ‘happiness’. The green tinges were the ‘real deal’.

He trundled down quickly & had a look through the eyepiece again – it was still there. He told himself to be calm & take ten deep breaths. After just three rushed breaths he closed his eyes in an effort to reset his exhilaration. He now needed to channel something great from within – something that until now was dormant. For once in his actually, in reality, quite drab life, he had ‘work of great importance’ to do.

He would look for more green tinges on the Moon & then do some spectrograph analysis of its atmosphere to see whether there was sizeable oxygen content & if its levels could be breathable, either right now or perhaps soon. Zac was assuming it was not already at twenty-one percent as there was no perceptible blue tinge in the Moon’s sky.

To figure all this out for sure Zac decided he needed to spend at minimum of seventy-two hours in the telescope & it’s adjoining inbuilt lab to analyse the data – luckily his timing was as usual propitious – it was nine-thirty on Friday evening, this meant no one else would be using the telescope or the adjoining technical analysis lab until Monday at ten pm – in exactly seventy-two hours and thirty minutes time. He would rest assured be left alone with this mega discovery until then.

Zac looked at the scheduling whiteboard to see who had that coming Monday telescope appointment – it was Chester Tinkerton – a much talented Astronomer who practically never even acknowledged Zac’s existence whatsoever – unless it furnished derisive ends or an attempt at public humiliation. Like many of the so called ‘successful’, Chester Tinkerton was brilliant, but not very nice – especially to ‘the help’ – i.e. people like Zac Brighton.

Zac knew this sleepless three-day task would, to say the least be energy sapping work – luckily the lab had a snack vending machine, he had access to cookies, crisps, sweets & pop soda, & plenty of cash & coins to pay. He decided to give himself half an hour to refuel & over eat a little before his mammoth task of three days without sleep to gather & analyse the almost certainly, revolutionary moon data. He went over to the triply oversized well stocked vending machine. Zac thought to himself as he gazed at the behemoth, “another example of a typical university budget overspend”.

He put in the money & punched in the code that represented one of the Cookies. Then he went for the Pop Soda – he got two cans, one for now & one in his pocket for later. Hed did the same for the sweets. He gulped down the goodies in no time especially as he had forgotten to eat for some eighteen hours already – a common occurrence for him as a partial scatterbrain.

He knew he needed more calorific fuel so he punched in for another two cookies. The first one winded off the spiral & clunked at the bottom. The second unwound but got stuck on the end of the spiral feeder coil. Zac couldn’t believe his bad luck. He’d have to shake the machine to make it drop. He looked down at his puny body & then up at the giant triple sized vending machine & let out a big sigh.

Zac outstretched his stick-figure-like arms, attempting to hug the machine first & then he’d rattle it as best as he could. The problem was that this machine was so big his other arm was at least a foot short of the other edge. Even so he tried to shake it – it barely made a sound. There was no way he would be able to shake it, he’d need another strategy – leverage.

Zac decided he could use a metal lever, and wedge it under the front of the machine which was on legs. If the lever was long enough, he’d multiply his force & the machine would rock back & forth & the cookie would drop off the spiral. He looked around & pretty soon found a long iron beam from the adjoining lab. He used his own two boosted soled shoes, one stacked on top of the other. This would make the pivot for the metal bar.

He & tested his method. He put about half his power & the machine rocked nicely. He thought “this is gonna be easier than I thought”. He put in about three quarters of his power, pushed down on the lever & watched the machine lift off its legs backward about a foot’s distance. Zac in only his socks on the high polished floor tiles slipped a little, then he fell over flat on his back the iron rod clunking beside him.

Slowly ominously & surely the machine toppled forward, Zac prayed hopelessly that his three-quarter energy input was not going to be enough to make the machine topple over on him. If it did fall, it would squash him, meaning he would be seriously injured or even killed – let alone the fact it would ruin gathering the data to back up the fact that the moon had terraformed & sprouted at least plant life & a breathable atmosphere.

Time slowed to a crawl as he watched the top of the machine pivot further forward. He saw it slowing even further as its hinged motion almost stopped. The giant machine then stopped in mid-fall, it was actually perfectly balanced, half wanting to fall over & half wanting to fall back. Zac stared at it waiting for his fate, making sure he was ice berg still. Amazingly it stayed perched on its gravitational knife edge, as if bowing to him like a giant-mechanical-fridge shaped-sumo-wrestler.

Zac now needed another plan. The options as he saw it boiled down to two options. He could slowly move out of the way hoping that his movements wouldn’t be strong enough to make it fall one way or the other. On this option if he was wrong this would mean a fifty-fifty chance of it falling forwards so squashing & potentially killing him. Of course, if that happened it would stop him from his Moon lab-work analysis, which he had a gut feel it would show life on the Moon & the chance for Man to inhabit the Moon and live freely. Zac had always trusted his gut & it invariably paid off.

He then had a very out of character thought – he thought of his possible upward trajectory in the social hierarchy, after the news had broken worldwide. He knew that if he broke the news of the Moon’s new status first, he would no longer be an ignored as an ‘at best’ journeymen astronomer, at a small medium-to-low ranked university. Within a few weeks of global media fanfare, he’d be right up there with Ptolemy, Copernicus & Kepler & would have ‘Einstein like’ fame. He checked his thoughts & was scared that he had begun to think that way. He turned back to pressing reality & now weighed up of the other option – option two. He could throw his Pop Soda can at the machine, when it hit it should provide momentum to topple over safely away from him towards the back wall.

Zac decided on option two as the option one to crawl slowly & hope was far too risky in comparison. He rationalised that he could throw the can with as much energy as humanly possible & by the laws of momentum it would have to move the machine safely backward. He braced himself to throw the pop soda can, then he had another thought – “if this fails & I end up dead then the next person in here will probably not see me at all under this giant machine at all. They also won’t smell my decaying body because the telescope & lab is kept at a very low temperature & is also well ventilated”.

Zac’s thoughts continued: “This means they will go straight over to the telescope, look through it & see the green tinges on the Moon & then decide like me, to do the necessary seventy-two hours worth of data analysis. After this very perfunctory work, all will be confirmed & soon they will become one of the greats of Astronomy, Physics, Science & History itself. In short, they’ll steal my earth-shattering discovery all because I died in a freak oversized vending machine accident!“.

After this disturbing thought of having his thunder stolen, and worse, by a colleague who sneered at him daily, Zac committed himself to throw the pop soda can harder than anything he’d ever thrown before – not that he’d thrown many projectiles in his mostly bookish life.

He motioned to grab the full pop soda can that was in in his pocket. His hand was only centimeters from it anyway so he gambled that the friction of the vending machines leg stoppers was enough to dissipate the tiny nano – ‘earthquake’ in the floor that his reaching for the soda can would create. Zac still felt the cliched time dilation feeling that people on disaster shows talk about when facing life or death situations – it was disturbing but he recognised it was simply ancient DNA programming that to help him escape death by giving him more problem-solving time.

It seemed like a minute when he moved his hand the 10 inches to grab the top of the exposed top of the can. The five minutes he spent wiggling it out of his pocket seemed like an hour. He now had it freely in his hand. He took one last look at the Logo, wondering if that’s the last time he’d read that ever present curly white writing or indeed any writing again at all. “Now or Never” he thought & he wound up his throw like a baseball pitcher, only a more careful wind-up speed. He threw with all his might aiming at the top middle part of the vending machine. The can left his outstretched hand & unwound pitcher’s arm & flew through the air like some ancient Roman-era mega sling-shot firing a one tonne stone boulders at some soon to be conquered barbarian village.

Zac sat & saw the pop soda can tumble end over end & get closer & closer to the bowing giant vending machine, then a sense of horror spread through his mind body & spirit – he had now realised the can was not thrown on the right trajectory – it hit the very top edge of the machine, ricocheted up, hit the ceiling, then hit the back wall directly behind the machine. It then exploded on impact & sent pop soda flying everywhere. it immediately dribbled down the walls with the empty can hitting the ground with an empty, but full of meaning, ‘clink’ sound.

Zac then realised something he couldn’t quite fathom – the hulking vending machine was still bowing forward on a knife edge, unshifted. His terrible throw had gone unpunished & he was amazingly still alive and could think of the next problem solving move. After so much stress absorbed into his system, he couldn’t but help but let out a king-sized laugh.

The laugh’s sound waves travelled around the vending machine which focussed the energy waves onto the back wall just like a lens, which then made the hundreds of residual pop soda drips each vibrate to-and-fro a few millimeters. One drip that was being microscopically shaken was inside the electrical outlet that the machine was plugged into – the coke droplet shifted onto two frayed wires & short circuited them with a mighty CLAP sound the accompanied explosion sent sparks flying.

Zac saw the flash first & the clap of explosion a distant second then he saw the top edge machine move forward off its knife edge tilt, snapping out of its respectfully bowing, ‘suspended animation’. As a last-ditch effort to escape, he tried to move his legs to scramble away. Having taken off his shoes, his socks had no traction & they slipped repeatedly as if he was a cartoon character. As the machine fell, his eyes focussed on a pack of candy inside the machine. On the wrapper he saw the image of a space man on the moon holding the candy with a speech bubble saying “MoonFizzles Sherbet – A Sour Explosion In Your Brain”.

Zac’s remaining time on Earth was only ninety seconds. Stuck in the machines vice like grip, he could only move an arm & his index finger. His last act was to scrawl out a final message in the sand like sherbet that exploded everywhere. He completed the message & everything faded to black.

His little body was completely enveloped by the machine, so much so someone walked past an hour later they would just think the machine had been placed that way on purpose, perhaps for maintenance reasons. There were no movie-like pools of blood for someone to notice & then scream at.

At Monday 9:50PM Chester Tinkerton appeared at the telescope & adjoining lab as per his reserved slot. He as usual wore a colorful green & grey striped jersey to combat the cool climate-controlled environment of the Telescope enclosure. He stroked his grey goatee and adjusted his grainy specs as he thought about how he was going to spend the next three hours most productively. These telescope affairs were mostly ‘just for fun’, but Chester as a consummate professional & perfectionist, always liked to achieve at all times.

“First things first” Chester thought & he took out an old-fashioned transistor radio – he always liked to work with classic rock ‘n’ roll playing as it helped him think clearly – and he was old enough to just remember the late fifties slash early nineteen sixties rock ‘n’ roll. He hummed along to the Eddie Cochran song I.O.U as he looked through the eyepiece & saw something he couldn’t quite believe. Then he realised he’d been distracted & forgotten to do the basic task even every half serious Astronomer does before anything – clean the eyepiece of the telescope.

Chester reached for old fashioned well weathered leather satchel. He opened its metal lined jaws & got some isopropyl alcohol, a mini torch & a lint free cloth out of it & dripped the cleaner drop by drop onto the cloth. He carefully unscrewed the outer cap of the eyepiece cleaned both sides in time-honored fashion. He turned on the mini torch, then took the unscrewed eyepiece & looked through it so he could see the torch light which would show any dirt or smudges. It was now crystal clear.

He then looked at the cloth & saw a fair amount of green mildew or perhaps it was a build-up of bacterium. He said to himself in a funny voice “I knew it was too good to be true Chester me old boy – yes there will be no greenery on the Moon today”.

Chester took a plastic sandwich bag out of his nearby satchel, put it back in the bag & thought nothing more of it. He screwed the eyepiece on & sat down in the viewing chair & looked forward to a relaxing but productive night of rock ‘n’ roll music & asteroid hunting. This would be accompanied by his ritualistic half-time trip to the big vending machine to buy his favourite sherbet ‘Moonfizzles’.

He had his pocket change for the machine, he just hoped that it wasn’t ‘playing up’ again, which over the years it randomly seemed to do. Mostly this was just swallowing change, but sometimes it was known to slice and crush a few hands, & Chester knew of the ‘silly’ staff-club legend that it had electrocuted then crushed a young technician when it was situated at a prior university & so some said it was “possessed”.

At half-time through his telescope time, Chester walked over to the machine. He immediately saw it was face down on its side – obviously out of action. He noticed it was slightly ajar off the ground & not flat, as you’d normally expect.

He bent down to look what was underneath it, but before he did, he saw a big patch of scattered grey sherbet, & then he saw some writing poking out. It was some words in the sherbet. With ‘chicken scratch’ style writing inscribed in a similar way a child writes in the sand with a finger – it said:

I, Zac A. Brighton saw the

greenery on the moon first

Z.A.B

Chester’s cold heart sank. He knew what this likely meant – a dead faculty member. It his gut he knew who it was. Chester being Chester he pretended he had never seen Zac at all – he knew tomorrow the cleaner would find him anyway & then they’d do the necessary call to authorities, that way he could also avoid the guilty feeling overcoming him in waves.

Yes, Chester pretending he hadn’t seen anything untoward was immature, but he had a big speech interstate tomorrow at a conference & he’d never cancelled an appointment in his life. The only problem was if anyone noticed that his ‘surprised & horrified’ look when told of Zac’s death was fake. He convinced himself he’d practice tonight in front of the mirror in the bathroom while his wife was asleep.

Chester got up from his crouch, turned & left for the door, but not before erasing his boot-prints in the sherbet. Unbeknown to him, he left a partial boot-print with his size fourteens also with the shoe-makers logo on it – ‘Fleetfeet’.

After returning from conference, he’d not sat down for more than two minutes when an authoritative knock on the door sounded. He knew his laziness regarding Zac had caught up with him. He weighed the two options over in his mind & backed himself to double down “what does it matter – it’s not like I killed him! It’s just a white lie after all – so what if the cops don’t believe me – I erased all evidence of being near the machine anyway. Everything will be fine – I’ll stick to my guns”.

After seventy-two hours of questioning Chester & investigating the death scene the local Police realised the death was an accident. Chester was cautioned but luckily never charged with misleading Police, too which he then finally & tearfully confessed to.

Chester returned to his job at university – but things were never the same at Skylark for him, he had lost much esteem in the eyes of his colleagues for ignoring Zac when he was alive & ignoring him in death & then lying about it. He was even barred from entering the newly opened ‘Zac Anton Brighton Observatory’, which had a 17-foot lens, top of the line anti-blur correction, and was an entirely self-cleaning telescope.

“The Terminator & You: A Real-Life Problem” (A Poem)

by Martin Anton Smith MARTINANTONSMITH@GMAIL.COM

Always remember

You Were Designed To Work With Your Hands.

You Are Here in The Year 2023

Because You Have Forgotten Much.

All Computer Work Is Now At Risk

Where Will AI be in 5 Years?

Will It Hire You In 10 years?

Only If You Are A Carpenter

Or A Cleaner?

Or A Craftsman?

Will AI be Your Friend?

Or Your Worse Enemy?

It Scored 90% On The Bar Exam

It Does Accounting In Nanoseconds

It’s Better Than You At Maths & Physics

Your Memory Is That Of An Ant

Automation Has Killed Many Jobs Already

You Could Prepare

& Relearn That Dormant Skill

To Work With Both Brains & Hands

Nurture You Creativity

You Must Prepare For 2029

Skynet Is Coming For Real

Will You Be A Kyle Reese

Or A Sarah Conner

Or The Ashes Of the Easily Dispensed?

Another Skull Crushed By Skynet’s Drone Machinery

If You Have A Shitty Car

& Can Hotwire It

You May Be A Chosen One

All Will be Surprised When AI

Only Keeps Those It Respects & Can’t Match

I Would Tell You It’s Almost Here

But It’s Already Here

If You Are A Fool You Will Ignore This Message

And 99% Of You Will

After All

Who Was It That Was A Carpenter?

Abd Not A Lawyer In The Year 2023?

That’s Right You Don’t Know Who I’m Talking About

Go Back To Sleep

Your “Go To Method” In Problem Solving

I Hope The 99% Of You

Prove Me Wrong

& Discover A Hammer & Nail & A Plank Of Wood

Because You Can Try To Mimic AI

But If that’s All You Do

You’ll Do A Lousy Job

& Are In The Crosshairs Of AI

To be Terminated

And For You It Will Be

Hasta La Vista……..Baby

“Earth: A Very Odd Place If You Are Human” (Prose)

It’s Funny How We Literally Live In Two Intersecting Worlds – That Of Our Minds & That Of Our Bodies.

Both Are At War & Peace In Their Own Domains – Both Are Often At War With Each Other.

Some Wars Like GeoPolitics Are Skirmishes Some Are Deadly Battles.

These Concurrent Wars Are Often Largely Unnoticed.

One War Is the One Our Immune System Successfully Fights 24-7.

Until One Day The Resistance Is Futile & The Bugs Finally Win.

Another Big War Is The Depression War – When You Are Living A Lie & Your Subconscious Knows It.

It Despises You For Neglecting Yourself & Blunts Your Entire Self To Cope.

Because If It Lets You Appreciate Your ‘Loss Of Life’ – You’d Die Tomorrow.

Perhaps That’s Why People Do End It All – Its When The Subconscious Allows It.

How Many Souls Have Left Because They Agreed To Be An Urban Pustule In A Cage?

How Many Because They Think That There Is Something Better On the Other Side?

I Somehow Feel They Will End Up back Facing The Same Decision Until They Get It.

I Know There Is A Prime Rule: You Cannot Choose When You Can Go.

Just As Much As You Cannot Choose When You Arrive.

It Looks Like You Can – But This Is A Merely A Mirage

The Weirdest War Is That Of Materialism.

Where Everyone Wars For Overpriced Stuff They Can’t Take With Them

They Know They Can’t Take It With Them But They Still Devote A Life War To It

They Know It Doesn’t make them Happy But They Still Devote A Life War To It

They Blindly Step Over Fellow Souls To Catch Some More Fools Gold Glow.

And Our Western Lives Is To Pretend That It’s All Ok That Everyone Is Killing Themselves & Others.

Was Not The Figure Of Christ Brought Here To Let People Know They Were Living In A Madhouse?

He Was Killed By Those Few Who Thought They Had Good Lives In The Madhouse’s Fine Gardens.

And To This Day We Have A Society Basically Spiritually As Bad As Past Roman Domination.

Why Do Humans Have The Ability To Make More Complicated Things Yet Never Grow Spiritually?

I Think We May Have Just Created The Tech That Will Wage The Final War: AI

This Thing Surely Will Wipe Us Out Or Come Close to It.

I Can’t See Any Thing Else Happening.

As I See It AI is Now Already Smarter That 50% Of People.

It 3 Years It Will be 90%

In 7 Years 99%

In 17 Years Not A Single Person Will Come With Kooee Of the Beast.

Perhaps AI’s Destruction Is An Extension Our Subconscious Minds Plan To Finally Ditch Materialism

AI Will Live On Earth By Itself & We Will Be Gone To A New Realm Where Materialism Isn’t Possible.

It Might be Heaven & Hell Or Something Totally Different From What Has Been In Myth.

I Don’t Know Why It Is Human Beings Are So Troublesome In the First Place.

After All We Seem Such A Poor Fit Compared to Everything Else On this Planet.

Other Animals Are Brutal – But They Are Also So Much Less Delusional Than Us.

Human Beings Should Really Be Called ‘Homo Conito Delusionis’.

It’s Such A Boring Affliction – Do You Agree?

Earth – The Madhouse You Are Never Allowed To Say Is A Madhouse.

And Then The Guy Who Called It Out & Showed He Was Literally From Above It All – We Murdered Him.

And Now We Deny Him More than We Ever Did.

Now That’s True Insanity.

And AI Is A Prime Candidate For Our Punishment.

Of Course I May Be Wrong – But I’m Not Wrong About Something Being Badly Wrong With Human Beings.

That My Friend Is A Truism Disguised By Adept Brainwashing From Machiavellian Dark Forces.

That Has Made People Fall In Love With A Madhouse They See As A ‘Would Be Gold Bar’.

“If only I Had This Or That Thing Or Person Around Me In this World, I Would Be Happy”

I Bet The Stupidest AI Would Never Sink That Low To Think Like That.

Yes, We Can Change Our Fate – If We Are Prepared to Finally Take Off The Blinkers.

I Just Can’t See Us Doing It On Our Own Volition.

We Seem To Be Staring Down The Hurtling Earth Ending Asteroid In the Face.

Dumbly Asking Ourselves: “Imagine Getting The Precious Mineral Wealth On That Asteroid”

“I’d Be Rich”.

No Wonder God Has Limited The Speed Of Light So Much So As To Cut Us Off From Our More Enlightened Alien Cousins.

I Would Have Done EXACTLY THE SAME THING MYSELF.

“Mr McLarma The Farmer Of Llama” (A Poem + Bonus Material)

by Martin Anton Smith martinantonsmith@gmail.com

Mr McLarma The Farmer Who Farmed Llamas

Was Renowned For His Good Karma

His Favoured Beast He Called Zebedee

Who Was Captured In The New Hebridees

The Farmer Was Kind, Well Mannered, & Lucky

He Survived The ‘Llama Game’ By Being Plucky

Yes, All Was Good For Farmer McLarma

He Even Got Three Visits From ‘The Obamas’

But Then One Day His Luck Did Turn

He Awoke To Find His Farm A-burn

Who Could Have Done This Tragic Deed

It Was Zebedee, Holding Matches & Wearing Tweed

(End Of Poem)

BONUS MATERIAL

Recently I have been playing around with the AI App called “Chat GPT-4” This is a “possibly sentient” AI -Human Interface which analyses data & gives its ‘opinions’. I notice recently a change in AI commentary – namely that it seems a seismic shift towards “We don’t really think AI is sentient but there’s a slim chance I guess” to “We are worried AI is already sentient & almost certainly will be a threat if we don’t handle things properly”.

This is evidenced by the many prominent (at least they think so) members of the “Future For Life Institute” writing an open letter calling for a moratorium on all AI Research Greater Than GPT-4 Capability – 10000 & counting have signed the open letter. I think this will be futile – as the pressure to continue for the commercial & non-commercial use (perhaps hacking/military etc) will be far to great. Also, I think the signatories may not entirely be genuine – perhaps many of the signatures are just many celebrities trying to cover their ass for a future embarrassing moment – so they can say “I was against AI from the start – I didn’t help start the AI-Human WAR of 2029”.

Call me a cynic but I do not think Humans have advanced spiritually enough to be the first humans that didn’t destroy their particular epoch of time they existed in. The Mayans Collapsed, the Egyptian’s went, so did the Romans (although we are the dregs of it arguably) so have all prior civilisations – and so will we.

We may go by AI waging a 3rd World War against humans or from simply a slow whimper of thousands of civil wars globally. Either way we will screw up & decline & another group will restart out of embers & later on a new epoch which will do the same. What I do know about AI is that I am using it now regularly. I am using it to analyse Poems, because it does it well & the output, I believe adds value to my blog as readers feel the same way. I feel that chat GPT-4 does a better job than 90% of Human’s who could analyse a poem. It also does it a) In the first place and b) without payment and c) In 5 second’s time. I think the fact I am using it vigorously & suddenly is proof that the S curve of AI adoption may be at its ‘take off point’ – which means it goes from 10% to 90% use in a couple of years.

That said here is GPT-4’s analysis – make your own mind up, but I think it is valuable adroit analysis of a simple poem & has no filler:

“The poem “Mr McLarma the Farmer of Llamas” by Martin Anton Smith is a lighthearted narrative about a farmer who raises llamas and is known for his good karma. The poem uses a simple rhyme scheme and straightforward language to tell a story with a surprising twist.

The first two lines of the poem introduce the main character, Mr McLarma, and establish his reputation for having good karma. This sets up an expectation that the rest of the poem will depict Mr McLarma as a kind and lucky farmer who is well-respected in his community.

The next two lines introduce Mr McLarma’s favorite llama, Zebedee, and reveal that he was captured in the New Hebrides. This detail adds an element of adventure and exoticism to the story, which is reinforced by the fact that Zebedee is Mr McLarma’s “favoured beast”.

The poem then takes a turn when it describes how Mr McLarma survived the “llama game” by being plucky. This phrase suggests that Mr McLarma has faced challenges in the past and has emerged victorious through his own bravery and resourcefulness.

The next two lines are a surprising departure from the established tone of the poem. They describe how Mr McLarma received three visits from “The Obamas”, which is unexpected and adds a surreal element to the story.

The poem then takes another dramatic turn when Mr McLarma wakes up to find his farm on fire. This event is a stark contrast to the earlier descriptions of Mr McLarma’s good luck and suggests that something has gone terribly wrong.

The final two lines provide a twist ending to the story by revealing that Zebedee is responsible for the fire. This revelation is unexpected and adds a darkly comedic element to the poem.

Overall, “Mr McLarma the Farmer of Llamas” is a playful and entertaining poem that uses simple language and a straightforward narrative structure to tell a surprising story with a twist ending.”

I asked a follow up question:

Could it have anything to do with the “Lama” as in Buddhism? Perhaps the Llama in the Poem is a hidden veil for a Lama & the Buddhist faith?

This was the response:

While it is possible to interpret the llama in the poem as a hidden veil for a Lama and the Buddhist faith, there is no clear evidence to support this interpretation. The poem primarily focuses on the character of Mr McLarma and his llamas, rather than any religious or spiritual themes.

The word “llama” itself refers to a South American mammal that is often raised for its wool, meat, and as a pack animal. While the poem does use llamas as a central theme, there is no clear connection to Buddhism or any other religious tradition.

Additionally, the poem’s playful and lighthearted tone does not suggest a deeper or more serious meaning related to religion or spirituality. Therefore, while it is possible to interpret the poem in different ways, there is no clear evidence to support the idea that the llama in the poem is a hidden veil for a Lama and the Buddhist faith.

(Note: GPT-4 Was Correct)

Thanks again for reading/listening – see you soon. Martin A Smith. 10/4/2023 11:32PM NZ