by Anton Martin Smith
It’s midday.
“Shall we get pies or burgers” I say to my elderly mother.
The usual ‘bought lunch’ is a ‘chicken & mushroom’ pie for mum,
And a ‘Mince & Cheese variant for me from the ‘servo’ –
along with other incendiary items:
Classic Big Orange Drink that comes housed in a Plastic 2L ‘Milk Container’.
One Coffee for me either in a can or barista – depending on the weather.
“Yes let’s go for burgers” she says with a half energetic thought.
So the good but not really good servo pies are out today.
In my car I go.
I go to the asian eatery – where I have become a novelty.
This is because I like to engage with the staff – who are of various levels of ‘broken english’.
So Burgers now ordered, haggle over a ‘cash price’ done & negotiated.
While waiting I talk to the ‘most broken english’ staff member – the husband of the best talker.
He reminds me of the kind of foreigner that is working too hard to be able to learn the language.
This is not a criticism – just an observation – for we westerners are glib at how hard it is for a ‘far flunger’.
But this time he is keen for an ‘impromptu lesson’.
I see a ruler on the counter – I pick it up & say slowly, demonstratively the word ‘ruler’.
Of course ‘r’s’ & ‘l’s’ are impossible to pronounce, & this word has a double does.
After the as expected bad pronuncial result – I chastise myself for choosing that prop.
I see the counter bell
I say again clearly, teacherly drawn out, demonstrably & repeatedly
“Bell”….”Bell”…”Bell” as I finish it I rung the bell a little.
Before he has the chance to reply comes a disembodied from the back kitchen voice:
“I’M COMING”
We both laugh at this unintended consequence.
Isn’t it great? – the language of physical comedy needs no teacher.
The lesson ends as the now embodied voice comes in & hands over the burgers.
“There’s Extra beetroot for you” what a delight I think as I say my friendly goodbyes.
These little ‘slices of life’ are quite uplifting.
NB: I can report that at home the burgers were well received.
Anton Martin Smith Writer 