“Open Letter: Hey poet – Don’t steal Buk’s stellar 30 year Work Record”

by Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmithwrites.com or Martinantonsmith@gmail.com

I called out a fellow Buk fan & I was ‘blocked’.

This fellow Antipodean Poet also loves Buk.

Like me he mentions him all the time.

Sidebar:You can love Bukowski AND not like some of his bad drunken behavior.

That’s cool.

I applaud him for recognizing Buk’s literary genius.

BUT he ruins it all by doing this:

He tells his audience that he’s essentially ‘just like Buk’.

BUT

He has a patchy at best work record.

More holes in his CV than swiss cheese.

His dole check to work week ratio cannot have more than two-fifths MAX.

YET

He implies to his audience that he’s been working “thirty years straight in shit jobs just like Buk”.

Look, my Antipodean-warmer-climes-fellow-GenX-Pal,

Poetry is supposed to be about Truth.

Poets are supposed to be Truthful above all else.

None of this ‘Stolen Work Record Valor’ OK?

Oh did I mention?

In between the holes he was a ‘Marketing Man’.

Marketing Men love to lie to get results.

So what I would say to you oh ‘Fake Antipodean Buk’ is this:

If your were a true Poet,

Bernaysian Chicanery wouldn’t rule your tongue.

The Truth would.

Deep down I think you know this,

And are wondering about the sword of Damocles.

Or should I saw ‘The sword of Buk’?

Huh?

Riddle me that oh you Poetic antipodean hybrid of Bernays & Goebels.

But I am a reasonable man,

I am willing to throw you this crumb:

Perhaps I’ve got it wrong,

For there has always been scammy poets.

Who don’t give a rats about the Truth.

So perhaps you are a ‘poet’.

With a ‘small p’.

I implore you to capitalize your P forthwith – by admitting you were lazy with real world jobs.

And that’s why you hardly worked at all.

After all that is no sin to admit – in fact that’s honorable.

A ‘Big P Poet’ would definitely do this.

They might even wear it as a ‘badge of honor”.

But you lie about it, and suggest you grind-worked every day from age twenty to fifty –

‘Just like Buk did’.

That’s called intellectual dishonesty my friend.

And no Cap P Poet ever does this treasonous act.

And I’m sure BUK would agree.

He would say this:

“Be the hero in and of your own story YES – but don’t dare write about someone else pal”.

“Don’t Be An Alco If You Can Help It – A Tribute To Buk” (A Prose Poem)

by Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmithwrites@gmail.com

Perhaps no writer has told of the average joe’s plight in the nine-to-five drudge.

Than the great Bukowski.

Yes he was a sleaze – he admitted this himself.

This is why he agreed to write the newspaper column ‘Notes of a dirty old man’.

But let’s be honest at least half of urban-nine-to-five slave-women like sleazes – at least sometimes.

You see it’s about utilitarianism – They can use the sleaze & then throw them away.

They are conveinient, disposable.

They are fun during bar-night-ovulations or during rolling personal crises that is ‘modern city life’.

So while half of urban western women say they hate Buk – They are are at least intrigued by a wild animal type like Bukowski.

Because Buk was more a phenomenon of our dystopian reality just as much as he was a ‘dirty old man’.

I mean the cliché is that all women like a ‘bad boy’.

Clichés have to at least be half true – don’t they?

Of course they are.

And that’s why at least as many Western dystopian city livin’ women love Bukowski as hated him, & probably more.

Although he did say himself that he ‘let women push him around’, & that’s why they liked him so much.

But that was a schoolboy analysis, even he would know that – after all, he had a big brain.

But I think – on top of the ‘Western city dystopia effect’ – he was at least a hybrid of both a ‘pushover & a bad boy’.

Perhaps it was the hybrid nature that intrigued his many boozy women that he talked of in his novel ‘Women’.

But then again most of Buk’s women were fellow ‘bottom of the barrel types’.

They were alcoholics, party animals, literal prostitues etc.

Though later in life Buk said he ‘couldn’t be bothered with bars no more’ –

He ‘just wanted to sit in a quiet room with a beer and his thoughts’.

You see even an dive-bar-livin’-alco like Buk can’t party much past fifty.

There’s the famous video where he gets pissed at Linda (his wife) because she keeps partying big.

In the infamous video she is unrepentant & says “I’ll keep going out at night & I’ll see whoever I want”.

This makes Buk ‘see red’ – he threatens to ‘Get his Jewish lawyers to kick her out’.

She is again unrepentant to his discomfort & his view of ‘how it should be’.

He loses it, his anger boils over & as the are both at opposite ends of the couch,

He starts kicking her like a child would – it looks bad on camera but there’s no force behind the kicks.

He ruined his poise & argument there.

It was a good argument to not be an alcoholic if you can help it at all.

Because if you’re deeply damaged – and most of us are – alcohol takes all your problems and makes a stage show of them.

But if you are (an alco) and you can’t (stop), it also helps (like Buk was) to be an entertainer, artist or writer – and living in America

They kinda issue you a ‘free pass to misbehave’ over there.

This is why America has both the best art and literature and the worst behavour.

So Rest In Peace Buk – may you be soaking in a giant vat of Budweiser in the clouds.

You behaved bad AND made great art.

The embodiment of the USA.

For the record I was a binge drinker for fifteen years, but not an alcoholic.

These days I just sit in a quiet room, drink two beers a night & write.

Like Bukowski my wild party days are long gone.

All I have left are a few wild memories.

And sometimes I really miss my (watered down) version of the various Bukowski Boozy Babes.

As Bukowski’s life was a testament to:

Time really does turn deadly sharp edges into fuzzy warm curves.

The truth is they were both good and bad and you could not have one without the other.

This is why you should never ‘throw the baby out with the bathwater’.

Perhaps both the best saying and civic instruction to have ever lived.

So let us never throw Bukowski’s out of the pages of our literature.

“The Feminists & Bukowski” (A Poem)

by Martin Anton Smith

The Femminists hate Bukowski.

But they secretly read his books in the book store,

making sure not to tell anyone.

But all the bookstore owners know their game –

& I am one of those bookstore owners.

In the end as they age –

The Feminists all end up marrying a ‘Bukowski-like-guy’.

After all,

‘People always get what they can have’

You see I was not correct to say “The Feminists hate Bukowski”

I should have said this:

“The Feminists Love to hate Bukowski”

And by marrying a Bukowski-like-guy,

The Feminist can have lifetime-job-security –

She can talk to, eat with & even fuck the object of her derision –

She as a crazy feminist loves being hitched to an ‘unsolvable problem’

The ‘unsolvable problem’ that is her “Bukowski-like-guy”.

I now command you to read the first half of Bukowski’s “Woman” –

Unlike life – The second half is a repetition of the first.

Deep down, surely the Feminists have to at least respect Buk’s complete honesty.

I mean that is a truly rare thing,

As much on the written page as it is in Life.

P.s. As an aside I lied about being a book store owner –

If only I was, I’d finally be happy!

But then again have you ever seen a happy book store owner?

I am not so sure.

Perhaps it’s because of the –

“the more you know – the more you know what you don’t know” effect.

Either that or they are just slowly going broke –

Which incidentily is a favourite topic in Bukowski’s work.