“The ‘Revolutionary Speech’ That Wasn’t” (Prose)

Older man shouting passionately with a pint and paper in a crowded pub

by Anton Martin Smith Antonmartinsmith@gmail.com or martinantonsmith@gmail.com (email me!)

Welcome friends colleagues and ardent enemies.

Let me spin a mighty tale which starts with meandering but ends with Revolutionary consequences.

And yes please drink while you listen – but try not to barf – it will ruin my train of thought.

But if you must please use the wooden buckets provided shackled under your tables.

Let me begin by talking of ‘luck’ – something I’ve heard of but never experienced myself.

Well perhaps I’ve had a little here and there but only by chance.

Why is it that when you have had a stretch of good luck –

And by ‘good luck’ all I mean is that nothing ‘really bad’ has happened for a couple of weeks.

I say this because let’s be honest –

That’s the reality of this urbano-mega-city-techno-prison most of us live in now.

Good luck is now defined negatively.

You didn’t get fired this week;

You didn’t step on some dog-shite this week;.

Your girlfriend didn’t cheat on you on her ‘girls weekend’ this time round.

Et cetera Et Cetera.

I could go on longer – but you are a street-wise audience and you catch my drift.

You see long ago ‘Good Luck’ was defined positively.

You found a twenty dollar note on the ground;

You went to a rock concert, got drunk and got laid all on the same night;

You went to the CD or record store and found a gem in the bargain bin.

I could go on and on –

But again – you fine folk will, like a fine Phoenecian sail – catch my drift.

And how pray-tell did we let this steep decline happen over say thirty years?

Your guess is naturally as good as mine and my blind furtive jabs.

But I’ll hazard a guess for perhaps one of the many multitudes of ghastly reasons –

MONEY PRINTING GONE WILD.

Yes deplorably we schmucks were slowly inflated out of our own lives.

I would say “great now we can revolt and chop some heads off – French Revolution style”.

But they ain’t so stupid to allow that stuff again –

So they became weaselly smart about weakening the masses, us the great unwashed!

They had to drug us up to the eyeballs to numb us,

In pills dished out by an army of quacks,

In our chemically laced food,

They frazelled our nerves too via our environments

Via coraling us our concrete jungles,

And the cubicle-ised our work spaces,

They corrupted the airwaves with their drone faced on-payroll mouthpieces,

They jacked up the price of beer so to close our glorious institutions the bars and hotels!

Of course they jacked up our rent too – that goes without saying.

Yep – They really did a number on us my dear souls.

And sadly as a poor but time rich poet at the arse end of the world –

I don’t have the exact solution.

I would be lying if I pretended I was Sun Tzu, Confucius, Neitschze or Kierkegaard –

But I do feel just a little like Thomas Paine of the American Revolution.

So I sincerely wonder about the following:

Perhaps we need to become more vicious?

That is to ‘fight fire with fire’ – to ‘wage war with war’.

Of course friends and adversaries – I know what you’re now asking me:

‘How do we do this given the fact – as you mentioned – that we have been so ‘beaten down’?

Well – that is indeed a good question.

The answer to that is surely what has always been true throughout of fabled History.

When someone has nothing at all to lose – the real question is this:

Why wouldn’t they revolt?

After all it’s only natural isn’t it?

It is indeed the norm of History in those first hand accounts that are being burnt by the enemy.

Yes – Revolution – even if we’ve been drugged, corralled, lied to and whipped mercilessly.

So despite appearances to the contrary –

As a simple country farmer might say to his weary and confused firstborn.

“There’s nuthin’ new under the sun, son”.

Personally, I will be revolting very soon, very revolting and very soon.

But then again I’m lucky – for my type – a writer and poet – the ‘pen is mightier than the sword’.

For those reading and listening this ‘Historical Yelp’ – I will see you at the victory party,

And naturally I promise to read a more than salubrious ‘victory poem’.

So now there is only one last thing to mention.

Hazaar to the Revolution – which starts tomorrow roughly at four pm!

I know that all of you ‘Soon to be Revolutionaries’ – are all the type to hate early starts.

Which will be perfect planning:

Our early-risers and sworn enemies will have finished their days work by then and are well pooped,

While we will be ‘full of beans’ having not long been out of bed.

Yes, I’m already liking the sound of this ‘Artists and Writers Revolution’.

Now my now half sozzled folks – may I ask you of this minor worry fleeting through my mind?

I am perhaps simply and once again, ‘delving into the realms of fantasy’ again?

No no don’t answer – I will answer myself – I know you will agree anyway!.

Surely I am not delirious – although that would be ‘kinda stock’ of me, wouldn’t it now?.

But no let me gather myself, that was just a minor crisis of confidence – I think this ale is a little off.

But I can’t entirely rule it out my dear soon to be, most likely tomorrow sometime, Revolutionaries!

Oh wait, yes you are right – I’ve been to hasty – we need to take some time on this.

After all we all know the adage ‘only fools rush in’ – we don’t want to be like the ‘Huns in thirty-nine’!

I’m sorry to say this my future valiant soldier-victor-heros…BUT…

Tomorrows ‘Revolution’ is hereby duly postponed!

Just while we figure out if we are..er I mean I am…in a ‘wildly creative but far too delusional dreamscape’,

Or are we indeed being ‘celebrator-ily rational’ in our ‘Revolution-Tomorrow-at-circa Four-PM’ plans.

I ask of you gathered here – is it not wise to do our due diligence?

The only thing worse than being trampled on hostages of our current dictators is to be Failed Revolutionaries!

So yes my future martyrs – we must simply think this Revolution thing over just a smidgen more.

Of course to do this we must stay here in this delightful ale-den & lubricate ourselves further.

So for now fellow would-be-Revolutionaries – relax, laugh, fornicate and be ‘truculently merry’.

And as we do let us all talk together with the cautious somber glee of coming iron-clad battle plans.

And in closing yes – let me quell your worried hearts by saying this:

I’m indubitably sorry for whipping you all up like this,

& I of course naturally apologize for doing this exact same revolutionary speech every single night,

Over and over again ad infinitum, and seemingly without regard for simple human decency.

I promise it won’t happen again….tonight…

But I would be calous liar if I was to pronounce that I will not do the exact same thing tomorrow night.

Now can anyone buy me my next drink? –

I know I don’t need to remind you all that I’m a truth-committed-starving-always-short-of-funds-poet?

Oh thankyou Sir – I wasn’t expecting a delicious fine ale so soon.

How verily kind of you – and that’s my favorite brand – let me read the label to you:

” ‘The Poet’s Daily Drop’ – A Revolutionary Ale?”

“An Ode To Intellectual Honesty” (A Poem)

by Anton Martin Smith antonmartinsmith@gmail.com or martinantonsmith@gmail.com

NZ (among other nations) has an affliction much worse than The Black Plague.

It is a persistent ‘built in’ shyness.

A built in reclusiveness that is robust to attack.

As a ‘liker of ideas’ this my friends and enemies – this is no good.

I want to be able to share ideas freely.

Here in NZ everyone is too afraid of sharing intellectual ideas.

And if they do it is often corrupted by cultish like political tribalism.

This is why I saw a ‘open night poetry’ advertisement that had a warning:

(& to summarise it via paraphrase)

“We want it to be safe so no ‘hate speech’ is allowed”.

This is what I am talking about.

Even poetry – which is supposed to be the (last) bastion of any and everyone’s ‘Truth’ –

Is now casually conscripted into quasi-national-socialist-literary-Brownshirt-ism.

People who haven’t seen either a mirror or their own shadow do condemn so drop-hat-ingly.

I see it as a total fear of having your mind changed by someone different and original.

And until NZ allows its artists and writers to ‘do art’ and ‘write words’,

We will continue to wallow in backward socio-cultural-mediocrity-land,

Where you dare not question the censorship laced tired dull unoriginal tribal company line.

One day people will wake up to all this.

My optimistic guess is sometime in the year 3036.

Where it will be safe to go to an open poetry night,

And share your mind freely with a wild array of formerly unacceptable conjectures,

And neither be applauded roundly or chastised drably.

You will simply be listened to and then a fantastic member of the audience,

Will be interested to purely and intellectually talk of their ideas and yours over a giant pint.

Of course this still sporadically happens even now,

But only as rarely as a inordinately cheap classic at the second hand bookstore is found.

But we controversial conjectorial thinker types cannot be beaten easily.

Like the virus that survived the traumatic trip to outer space under on a phillips-head screw,

We will too will survive to cough out (spontaneous emit) our acerbic & strangely colored lines.

(Much to their chagrin).

This was my ode to that priceless currently invisible concept: ‘intellectual honesty’.

Accidental Free Beer In Cromwell Town

He Was At The Betting Terminals

He Was A Small Older Man

A Tradesman Most Likely

Wearing Fluro Garb

Who Looked Well Beaten By

40 Years & A Million Kgs Of Bricks & Morter

The Gambling Machine Wouldn’t Work

So He Couldn’t Place The Bet

I Was Sitting At The Bar On A Water

Soaking It All In

He Took His Un-drank Bottle

Up To The Barmen To Complain

“The Bet Machine Don’t Work”

“Sorry It Will Be Fixed In An Hour”

“Not Good Enough – I’m Off To Alexandra Town “

& Someone Else Can Have The Untouched Beer”

He Slammed The Oversized Bottle Down.

He About Turned & Brusquely Left

The Old Fella Took It All Too Personally

There Was A Moments Awkward Silence

Then, Taking my Opportunity

I Said To The Barman,

While Pointing To the Vessel

“Can I Have That”

“Sure – Go Ahead”

I Thought About The Irony & Then Spoke

“Its Kinda Funny – He Was Gambling Man

& He Couldn’t Place A Bet,

So He Left In A Huff

Yet He Still Ended Up Losing His Beer To Me,

A Guy Who Wasn’t Gambling At All –

So HE Was Still Gambling – But He Just Didn’t Know It”

The Barman Laughed Heartily.

Despite The Night Being Overall Quite Dull

Because Of The Free Beer Incident

I Took the Night As A Win

And Yes – The Beer Tasted Better Than Usual

And I Wondered If The Same Thing Happened

In Alexandra Town Later That Same Night

But I Very Much Doubt

Another Secondary Poem Was Produced

By Some Other Parallel Poet Wonk Like Me

But I’d More Than Love It If It Did.

The Much Degradous Transformation of The Overly Esoteric Poet (Prose/Quasi Essay)

Poem by Martin Anton Smith martinantonsmith@gmail.com

Poets should be openly willing to explain their overly esoteric poetry.

Overly Esoteric poetry without an explanation is I believe, simply an act of anal retention, or of admission of guilt to the very serious charge of ‘literary onanism’.

Overly Esoteric Poetry is the willing literary creation of a ‘false god’ – The god of ‘stolen mystique’.

The Teleology or Grand Aim of the OEP’ers is to garner ‘false praise’ and ‘unwarranted adulation’.

Some say OEP is a mental illness, but I beg to differ – I believe it to be a ‘serious character flaw’ only.

Many kind people have indeed become victims of the OEP’ers & this must be combatted ‘head on’.

Upon reading Overly Esoteric Poetry & its non-existent explanations, the reader should do one or all of the following:

Rip out & ‘bonfire’ the page immediately (with matches or a lighter), making sure any un-esoteric poems are retained (For best dramatic effect do this to your offending unbought book-store book while in front of a captive audience).

You can stamp on the Guilty Poet’s feet – Stamp twice if they added this comment: “but what does it mean to you – that’s what really counts”

You can write in the margins of the offending passage: “This is far too esoteric, to not have any explanation” (be sure to leave an unhappy face emoji)

You can either write-to or say-to the Poet an equally esoteric verse, explaining or in reality non-explaining, why you did one or all of the above treatments. e.g.

Dear Un – Sir

Your perfidy-ness was dialectically imprecise. On top of this your topiary inelegance was sparce of any gnosis or incandescence. I can only hope that a kaleidoscopic entree of inexactitude will befall your double entendre of an ontologically reverse pathology, resulting in ‘babyloniously’ duplicitous & mixological results. As such I have had to punish you & don’t come crying to me now that it has rightly happened.”

I re-iterate, ‘Overly Esoteric Poetry’ -OEP must be regaled against in all its forms!

Poetry must be an egalitarian pursuit, where the idea is King – for ideas like all fair-minded Kings must exist in plain sight, for a King who is good to his subjects will not fear scrutiny.

The King should be clearly identifiable – be he fully naked, half clothed or pompously garbed.

There need not be any need to guess what the ‘King” is wearing in flip coin fashion, desperately hoping your audience neighbour agrees with your blind guess – that the King’s is ‘naked’ or ‘dressed’ or half-half.

Judicial Sentences for Poets who are creating careers from ‘false god sentences’, must be harsh & nearly immutable.

We must create a new penal colony island. As no untaken islands currently exist – It can be made in a fashion similar to how the Chinese create islands in the South China Seas, by hoovering up sand & redepositing it until it finally rises as a whale emerges from the ocean to draw breath.

Once The OEP Penal Island is constructed, we can build an adulation hermetically sealed dome, where each OEP can face only those of his OEP brethren – and here they will face the reality that they can no longer fool anyone at all – for a crook knows a crook.

Each OEP will swiftly go mad, as they will be deprived of their life-blood – faux adulation.

This is fair – for what they do is a crime against humanity – and this, oh listener is large understatement.

Once they achieve madness – they can be released, for a madman’s deception is obvious and see-able to the sane.

We can then simply re-christen them each as ‘A 21st Century MAN’.

i.e. Somewhat Mad But Does Not Know It.

Thus, proving the adage “a hardened criminal cannot truly be rehabilitated.”

Woe is the Overly Esoteric Poet, So Hated We Even Made Him Into A Typical 21st Century Man.

One Day We Onlooking & Interfering Overlords Of Justice Will Face Our Own Jailors.

And we surely will face the gallows, for the punishment we dished out, did not befit the crime.

We should have simply stopped at ‘shot over the bow tactics’ of the stamping on their feet or the esoterically veracious retort previously quoted.

We went too far with the Penal Island & the hermetically sealed, adulation-free dome.

We Poets & Poetry Critics – most of which are just ‘tryhards‘ – must know where the line is, and always remember:

A ’21st Century Man’ is infinitely worse than an ‘Overly Esoteric Poet’ will ever be.

So perhaps we should just let them OEP’s be.

And I say this not for a deep inbuilt need for social justice,

But for the very real concern – which of course, may really just be garden variety paranoia,

That I might actually be one of them.

But luckily this lack of confidence soon passes,

As I tell myself the very true fact, that I almost always offer explanations for any bouts of OEP.

Where I have failed in this honorable task, I am always willing to divulge my philosophy to anyone suffering my foolishness.

I vow to never just say to a confused reader or listener “But what does it mean to you – that’s all that really counts”.

To not do so would make me a flake & a hypocrite, which I would hate to be, and there certainly is no need to swell the ranks of the OEP.

Postscript: I Being born in 1978, regard myself essentially as a Late 20th Century Man, as I ‘came of age’ around the years surrounding the Millennium’s turn. I will continue to be fond for this 90’s era, as the 1990’s were a rare golden era in the West – an era we did not recognize as a good one until this dastardly 21st Century bed itself in, so allowing recent History to finally crystalize & be seen for what it was. There is of course one way the first quarter of the 21st Century could be one day also be seen as “a good one” – due to historical relativity – but what this implies is a terrible thought indeed, and I suppose involves a gigantic war, that perhaps we are already in. Now excuse me I must get some rest for my poor frazzled now ‘early middle aged’ brain, & I don’t want to end up like Nietzsche – railroaded by acute burn out in his mid forties.